| #1 Anonymous[137316] |
| dialup-209.246.88.111.Dial1.NewYork1.Level3.net |
| no flames this time plz. |
| #2 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[137318] |
| h0003932041c0.ne.client2.attbi.com |
omg horrible pathetic worthless a HUGE waste of time
9...on bizarro world. |
| #3 Anonymous[137320] |
| dialup-209.246.88.111.Dial1.NewYork1.Level3.net |
| T.T realy |
| #4 LameJoker[137322] |
| pool-129-44-15-186.alb.east.verizon.net |
Better than the first one, I'll give you that. However, still some bad writing, = "The marines thought of the protoss highly, for their craft was glorious."
However, plz post the rest.
|
| #5 Anonymous[137324] |
| dialup-209.244.182.219.Dial1.NewYork2.Level3.net |
yes that was corny. I was watching channel 13 when i wrote
that sentence |
| #6 endersshadow[137325] |
| ool-182d2de6.dyn.optonline.net |
as about 99.999999% of this site's visitors have played starcraft, I don't think that it was necessary to describe each zerg/toss/terran unit, as it interrupted the flow of battle.
numerous spelling mistakes, but not terrible.
-.- |
| #7 Anonymous[137327] |
| dialup-209.244.182.219.Dial1.NewYork2.Level3.net |
| Hmm. Im stupid enought to print this and save it for a read when im an adult or something as a memory, but ok i guess your right. |
| #8 Newt[137335] |
| dsl3-63-249-85-66.cruzio.com |
It had less gramatical errors than the last one but that may have been because number 2 (3+4) was shorter than your first story. Your story is quite good save the grammar, tense, and 1st/2nd person switchoff. For future reports have a second or third person spell check your writing so it's easier to read. You could also focus on smaller battles by using more detail rather that a lengthy, slightly detailed warstory.
GL,
Newt |
| #9 jimmy[137523] |
| prx3.act.schools.net.au |
Yeah. Can be quite tedious at times.
but not bad! 6.75
-NOTJimmy |
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