| #1 BiGRoOSter[135895] |
| pcp02705884pcs.dalect01.va.comcast.net |
| i would just like to say 1st! [i think[ |
| #2 2e722[135896] |
| bbcache-228.singnet.com.sg |
| dangit! 2nd thou. not bad. i mean my#. |
| #3 Repressed[135898] |
| scf1-fe0-1.wc.optusnet.com.au |
Hmmm, its a bit short and more detail would be nice.
Make it longer and it should be ok.
I like the 'how does sex work again?' part tho :) |
| #4 scn[135899] |
| c-24-118-250-248.mn.client2.attbi.com |
| fan fic, run |
| #5 ChaosDemigod[135901] |
| 240.80-202-225.nextgentel.com |
too many fan fics
you should make a seperate category for fanfics, instead of listing them along with battlereports...
I get pissed of whenever I see a fanfic |
| #6 Jaood[135902] |
| hc6524652.dhcp.vt.edu |
| jimmy's down! |
| #7 Convider[135903] |
| Toronto-HSE-ppp3663249.sympatico.ca |
| rofl "how does sex work again?" |
| #8 LameJoker[135906] |
| ip-209-23-1-89.modem.logical.net |
.....
Perverted cerebrates?
Why would a cerebrate even care?
-_- |
| #9 Mattkid[135909] |
| 208.181.176.226.lgisp.net |
The zerg talking is kind of fake.
Matt |
| #10 SAbotage[135910] |
| pool-68-161-58-119.ny325.east.verizon.net |
i think he did fine. just longer would be nice. The plot was a alright, but where is part 1? the rating doesn't matter, just write more jimmy. i enjoyed it. (oh, yeah, make it longer)
-Sabotage |
| #11 jimmy[135913] |
| prx3.act.schools.net.au |
Yeah, made in a rush.
Part 1 is in report 5207.
Thanx tho.
-NOTJImmy |
| #12 No_AvaiL[135936] |
| c-24-30-250-7.va.client2.attbi.com |
| Ending plz thx T_T |
| #13 2Cautious[135963] |
| adsl-68-72-91-79.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net |
Well, I think you really need to work on your characters, IMO. The leaders anyway. They speak too quickly (conversations aren't long) & it doesn't seem real. e.g.
Jack chuckled. "I am Jack Oboe, leader of a rebel clan for the Terrans. We will help you in your efforts to remove the other Terrans from this planet."
"Okay then. Sounds fine to me."
The Cerebrate just agreed like that (using human slang, too. =<). Also, more details needed of the battles.
4-5.
|
| #14 Sabotage[136023] |
| pool-68-161-56-18.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| jimmy is cool. |
| #15 jimmy[136039] |
| prx3.act.schools.net.au |
He.
Part 3 is way longer, more detail (sorta) and has more realistic characters.
Btw,
HAS ANYONE NOTICED MY LINE ALT-TEXT ???????????
-NJ |
| #16 jimmy[136511] |
| CWPP-p-203-54-206-63.prem.tmns.net.au |
Grrr. Last then.
-NOTjimmy |
| #17 SAbotage[137216] |
| pool-68-161-59-61.ny325.east.verizon.net |
asdf
(gettin gay) |
| #18 jimmy[137251] |
| prx3.act.schools.net.au |
Yeah well, yes. last
-NJ |
| #19 Sabotage[137536] |
| pool-68-161-58-160.ny325.east.verizon.net |
asdf
(last ever ever ever) |
| #20 jimmy[137734] |
| CWPP-p-203-54-207-13.prem.tmns.net.au |
Nooo im last
Ill be online later, place me in a bR!!!!!
-NJ |
| #21 Sabotage[139524] |
| pool-68-161-64-46.ny325.east.verizon.net |
last
oh i play us east
name: Sabotage_ |
| #22 NotJim[139687] |
| 144.139.221.1 |
| Got it. Last. |
| #23 Sabotage[139792] |
| pool-68-161-64-46.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| ima last |
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