| #1 Ender[129822] |
| 128.226.4.65 |
| 1st!! |
| #2 UraniumAnchor[129823] |
| 216-38-53-60.ip.amisp.net |
Well, lemme see...
1) Tried to ape Cattlebruiser's style a bit much for my tastes.
2) Had the ending at the beginning.
3) Hard to read due to the poor english (m8 would be "mate", btw, not "might"), but that's partially excusable.
Be more original, don't give away the ending until the ending, and at least don't type "u" or "m8" any more. And run a spell checker! "Forst Nova"? |
| #3 Ender[129825] |
| 128.226.4.65 |
the thing that annoyed me the most was the wide resolution.. too wide for my tastes keep it around 1024 (i think that's the 'normal' resolution)
the beginning felt a bit rushed, they just started and next sentence later they up to lvl 5 heroes
i'll read the rest after i do my comp sci homework =) |
| #4 MrBigStuff[129828] |
| 66.188.10.1.bay.mi.chartermi.net |
The visuals and everything look pretty good (though that one huge collage in the center was a bit confusing), but my biggest problem with this was the spelling. Please, please in a battle report use "proper english" so that it can flow. I could barely finish it because the writing was so bad. Practice on that, and this could probably be a 7. Keep it up!
- MrBigStuff@Azeroth |
#5  [129829] |
| pcp660145pcs.prshng01.fl.comcast.net |
I'm a bit torn on this. On one hand, it's apparent that you spent a lot of time and effort on this, but the text borders on unintelligible. It seems like English is not your first language, is this true? It would greatly benefit from a good proofreader to catch the many mistakes and grammar gaffs.
The game did look interesting, and some of your screen captures were pretty nice. I'd be interested to see what you could accomplish when teamed up with someone who can more fluently express what you want to convey.
I don't mind you borrowing the war3 map shot (since it's just a war3 screenshot with my letters on it) but in the future, you should ask authors before linking or borrowing things they have already posted. It looks like you ripped my table formatting source too; hopefully
it helped you out. |
| #6 [129830] |
| pcp660145pcs.prshng01.fl.comcast.net |
Everything else has already been said: don't give away the ending, and try and maintain the standard BR.com width. With more clarity, this could have been at least a 7, but as it stands I think it's about a 5.0 - 5.5.
Regards,
BU |
| #7 vincible[129831] |
| SABERTOOTH.MIT.EDU |
Please proof read your report before submitting it. The frequent mistakes in spelling and grammar made your report difficult to understand, much less enjoy. If possible, have someone else proofread it too.
Also, some of those sentences looked like they were taken verbatim from Cattlebruiser's reports. This is really bad manners. Don't do it.
Anyway, this is the sort of thing where practice will help you improve... so keep trying! |
| #8 VaLaQuenTa[129832] |
| kbl-vlis341.zeelandnet.nl |
| Thx for Tips |
| #9 VaLaQuenTa[129833] |
| kbl-vlis341.zeelandnet.nl |
| Btw.. putted mutch time in it, couldn't it be at least a 6? |
| #10 Jaood[129834] |
| hc6524652.dhcp.vt.edu |
| Perhaps another rater will see it differently. I'm running on 800x600, and it was a bit annoying having to scroll left and right to read it. But yeah, looks like you spent a good deal of effort. Using CB's image, bleh, don't do that =[. Proofread or have someone else go over it. Look forward to next one though. |
| #11 [129835] |
| pcp660145pcs.prshng01.fl.comcast.net |
I didn't notice the direct lifts from my Plunder guide before, because I'd skipped ahead to the report.
That's definitely a no-no. At least make it look like you wrote it yourself; I'm the only retard that says things like "army-centric". |
| #12 [129837] |
| 209.115.227.90 |
yes, pretty much what everyone else said, difficult ot understand and to wide. however, don't give up! you have pottental, and i know it is very frusstrating to spend a long time on something only to be critized, but i really belive you oculd write some good BRs if you keep trying.
very good effort, and not bad 5.5-6.0 |
| #13 TSUNAMI[129838] |
| 130.94.123.189 |
| This just goes to show that even newcomers (I won't use the word) can get a fairly decent score with just a background and some pics. I'm sure it was harder than I expressed it, and also try to get your verb conjugations right. Not all past tense verbs get "ed" and the end. As CB said, it sure sounds like English isn't your first language. |
| #14 Pretender[129841] |
| d119024.upc-d.chello.nl |
| Yea he's dutch and very young -_- |
| #15 Pr0be[129842] |
| cache-mtc-am04.proxy.aol.com |
| Pathetically bad English, and you basically took CB's report, and filled with some piece of crap game, that had 10 mispelled words per sentence, that were ripped off of other people's reports. No offense but you need some originality. Make up your own W3 word like army-centric. Ex: Suicidal Homies (God I love those things) |
| #16 DarkRider[129843] |
| 198.134.2.2 |
Hi.
Ok, here is some constructive critism.
Do not copy word for word parts of other reports.
Get a proof reader. Both for grammer/spelling and sentence structure. If you post in the forum someone will volunteer and you can email them the text.
Follow chronological order. Do the beginning at the beginning and the end at the end. For suspense reasons you can sometimes get away with hinting what may or may not happen. |
| #17 Redemption6[129844] |
| cache-1.sbo.ma.webcache.rcn.net |
| Guys, don't be so harsh on him jesus. Its his first report, and english is not his first language. Okay a few things. First i would recommend not copying cattlebruisers map description. It really isn't hard to pull something out of your ass thats better :D (jk CB). The table stuff is okay, and unless CB is the first person to ever use tables, then he didnt really rip off anything. (blarg used em 2). Grammar is ur biggest prob, and i recommend that you get someone to proofread it. This couldve been an easy 8. O yea and make the game longer, dont give away stuff like "for me it was gg already". |
| #18 MeNogotiateGood[129845] |
| proxy.ia2.marketscore.com |
| Good start, but REALLY REALLY needs proofreading. If thats not your best thing, ask someone else to do it for you. I'm not a spelling monger, but when it gets painful to read it, you have a small problem. Take everybody elses advice - i'm no BR expert. |
| #19 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[129847] |
| 209.234.157.161 |
| HOLY SHIT the grammar and spelling in there is a NIGHTMARE! My god...2 t.t |
| #20 1ns@ne[129848] |
| dial-52-26.ots.utexas.edu |
| Plees spel thigs bettr and youse bettr grammr thx |
| #21 1ns@ne[129849] |
| dial-52-26.ots.utexas.edu |
| Goddammit wish I didn't have such a conspicuous ISP |
| #22 MeNogotiateGood[129850] |
| proxy.ia2.marketscore.com |
| Oh, and swearing only makes your report look worse unless used in humorous context. Therefore - Won't do shit against you - could have been left out. |
| #23 1ns@ne[129851] |
| dial-52-26.ots.utexas.edu |
| ummm.Is #22 talking to me?I didn't write this.Need proof?Look.Much.As opposed to mutch. |
| #24 ................[129860] |
| HSE-MTL-ppp60767.qc.sympatico.ca |
| No he wasn't. URA.NID.IOT. |
| #25 Mr.Puddles[129864] |
| netcache-2004.public.lawson.webtv.net |
| Summary then battlereport?! WTF. And of course the m8. In a battle report, spell shit out. English. It's a language, learn it. |
| #26 Ender[129867] |
| 128.226.37.50 |
btw i think this is pretty important and i'm pretty sure it hasn't been mentioned yet but PLEASE DON'T USE GIFS!!
even my t3 line had a bit of trouble with the pics (maybe because the t3 line was split between 50 other comps but whatever)
use jpgs whenever possible to minimize download time |
| #27 [129869] |
| 130.94.107.203 |
| I thought this was a great report |
| #28 Ender[129870] |
| 128.226.37.50 |
yea it was ok but the side scrolling really got to me =/
i'm paranoid what can i say? |
| #29 <script>('banned!!');document.location='http://www.yahoo.com';</script>[129875] |
| 209.234.157.160 |
| hrmm |
| #30 [129886] |
| pcp660145pcs.prshng01.fl.comcast.net |
I have this IP address, thanks.
Regards,
~CB~ |
| #31 andaca[129887] |
| ool-4353591e.dyn.optonline.net |
| umm...well, ill forgive him for not being able to write for anything....but not for directly riping half his br at least straight from CB..also, i like the different ip adress of 27 compared to CB |
| #32 Whoha[129894] |
| 12-237-130-205.client.attbi.com |
| its pretty good, though it would be better with better spelling. |
| #33 Some_God[129902] |
| 0-1pool237-90.nas17.new-york2.ny.us.da.qwest.net |
It was good but you should not write reports like you are chatting on b.net (typing fast & using slang)
Cheers,
~SG~ |
| #34 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[129913] |
| 209.234.157.163 |
Some_god, u have no right to give advice to people because your BRs SUCK ASS.
(Damn, I'm addicted to flaming myself ^^) |
| #35 not a troll[130010] |
| HSE-MTL-ppp60767.qc.sympatico.ca |
| ya yer a pritty creative troll. liek peeple have a high apinyun uf sumgod neways lol. |
| #36 Dibbler- Cut me own throat-[130015] |
| p14229226.net.upc.nl |
| Lemme guess: you're first language is dutch right? |
| #37 Geniuz[TUW][130016] |
| iproxy1.kennisnet.nl |
| U guys should keep in mind that English isnt our first language. He's only 15 years old so it aint his fault that he makes mistakes. Giving a tip like, proofreaders and such is a good 1 but dont say the BR sucks because of it. I would luv to read it before u post it Vala. Ill fix ur grammar and other mistakes. Nice pics and all but, indd u'll have to work on both grammar and creativity. But for a first report Im pleased to see that u made something like this. Keep it coming! |
| #38 VaLaQuenTa[130021] |
| kbl-vlis341.zeelandnet.nl |
| Thx peter :-) |
| #39 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[130023] |
| 209.234.157.160 |
| awwwwwwwwwww aint that sweet. |
| #40 dr spork[130026] |
| Toronto-HSE-ppp3693314.sympatico.ca |
"Both,Pumping their crypt's ass of by know. and were grading on the graveyard. first i will give u a minimap update"
umm..
pardon?
|
| #41 [130028] |
| kbl-vlis341.zeelandnet.nl |
| lol :) |
| #42 The Wise One[130034] |
| 170.211.33.155 |
| too many annoying U's you looks much better |
| #43 ZerG~LinG[130044] |
| p408-053.ppp.get2net.dk |
Being young and not having english as your first language is a major handicap, but shouldnt be taken into consideration when rating report, at least not imo.
Anyway I think you'll get better as time passes, my first report was not very far from this, and when you write more often, and read more to hone your english skills, everything will come to you via practice. |
| #44 Redemption6[130047] |
| cache-1.sbo.ma.webcache.rcn.net |
| Ling i think youre wrong. If we take grammar into consideration in other peoples reports then we should take it into consideration here. The fact is lack of grammar hampers the report quality. For example, in my next br ill just say "english is my second language" as an excuse for any grammar errors and then get a 10? |
| #45 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[130056] |
| 209.234.157.162 |
| lol, ling means that the fact he doesnt know english very well shouldnt be taken into account when rating a report. |
| #46 ElvenKing[TUW][130120] |
| si970630.bk.tudelft.nl |
Nice report; ok, the grammar isn't everything. But if u look @ the time spend on it i think u guys are to hard on him. Some of u replyed being a totall retard..At least he puts time and work in it giving u something to read...It's always easy to think u know better but if u don't make reports i suggest u shut ur tramp ;//
I think it's a nice report only the grammar and the layout should be improved. And u could leave all the useless map information out :)
Peace & later |
| #47 TIME is not on YOUR SIDE[130121] |
| 209.234.157.160 |
| LoL, think again, he didnt give us something to read, he gave us something to be totally confused about...refer to number 40 to know what i mean |
| #48 windchester[130141] |
| proxya.byu.edu |
| can we ever get a 12ppl ffa? |
| #49 ibanez[131780] |
| c-24-62-163-32.ne.client2.attbi.com |
"Raters this is my first Battlereport So dont be to Strand for me :) "
What does Strand mean? |
| #50 Rehtom[132140] |
| 0xc3d7e353.hjnxr3.ras.tele.dk |
very short, hard too read because u apparently didnt have somebody ( there was a bit better at english ) to go over it before "publishing" it, you wrote the ending at the beginning which took away the excitement of reading BR's.
|
| #51 Gingerpop[133603] |
| webport-cl4-cache8.ilford.mdip.bt.net |
Hi i'm just writing to say that your report is really difficult to read. Someone might want to read your report to see what the game is like. If like me, they find the report difficult to read they might not bother to play the game. They might think that because you haven't put any effort into the report, you don't like the game.
I've got some tips for you:
* Either get a spell checker or ask someone to proof read it for you. I always proof read my schoolwork. You could get better marks for your report if you get someone to proof read it for you.
* It looks like you might have Dyslexia (difficulty with spelling and reading) so ask your teachers if they can give you any extra help.
* DON'T COPY THINGS DIRECTLY OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S REPORTS-IT'S NOT BIG AND IT'S NOT CLEVER. |
| #52 LAMINITIS[133604] |
| webport-cl4-cache8.ilford.mdip.bt.net |
Hi i'm just writing to say that your report is really difficult to read. Someone might want to read your report to see what the game is like. If like me, they find the report difficult to read they might not bother to play the game. They might think that because you haven't put any effort into the report, you don't like the game.
I've got some tips for you:
* Either get a spell checker or ask someone to proof read it for you. I always proof read my schoolwork. You could get better marks for your report if you get someone to proof read it for you.
* It looks like you might have Dyslexia (difficulty with spelling and reading) so ask your teachers if they can give you any extra help.
* DON'T COPY THINGS DIRECTLY OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S REPORTS-IT'S NOT BIG AND IT'S NOT CLEVER. |
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