| #1 Zephyrus[121425] | | 149.168.54.188 | | Alright, maybe the first chpt sucked, but this should clear up some things. I hope you guys liked this one better. | | #2 imperatorp[121426] | | h002078ccd7eb.ne.client2.attbi.com | | 2nd | #3  [121432] | | Ottawa-ppp3517195.sympatico.ca | | I dream of bronze . . . if only because you continued such a horrible plot. | | #4 Zephyrus[121433] | | 149.168.54.188 | | You know, being that you inspired me to write you could help me a little. I'm not a great writer, but you and the people who write fanfics made me want to write. Maybe I can tell you why there are so many sucky reports lately. The people here have inspired people to write. Now I know you guys want to write great reports, but you didnt start out as god all of you did you? so if it only helps me so be it, criticize my work all you want, but help me make it better. These people are writing with their hearts, so their skills suck, you inspired them, now give them skillz. Dag, through the cruel things I still look up to your writing skillz, a few tips is all I ask. | | #5 [121442] | | StCatherines-ppp109172.sympatico.ca | Well, don't take harsh criticism as being cruel. Any good writer on this site went through tons of it, and therefore have no problem dealing it out.
I think your main problem is cliche, which probably stems from your desire to do this kind of fanfic in the first place. The whole terran fighting zerg thing has been done countless times over, in a very similar way to what you're doing. Hence, any drama you try to insert in your plot is completely paved over. The dreaming business and the one-man-foreshadows-doom-but-stupid-commander-causes-problems plot are classic cliches that you should try and avoid, if only in word and not in substance.
There are other issues as well, like a somewhat bland/timid form of writing that you can very easily improve, but that's the crux of the issue. Rectify it, and you're in business. | | #6 Zephyrus[121443] | | 149.168.54.188 | | Ahhhhh!!! OMG!!! He has a sense of humanity =P LOL, j/k yeah I know the cliche very well, but for some reason I feel that the beginning will go slow just because I'm starting out, but the more I write the more interesting and twisted my ideas come. If anything, I do think I did a much better job with the second one than the first? | | #7 Zeal1590[121457] | | cache-ra01.proxy.aol.com | | 3rd non-author | | #8 striz[121617] | | CPE00a0cc2d2b10.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com | | LOL @ #7 |
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