| #1 Kane[120315] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| This is by far the shortest installment in the series. Next installment is at least twice as long, probably longer. |
| #2 Zeals~o~Valor[120316] |
| async5-11.remote.ualberta.ca |
| 2nd |
| #3 UltimateFire[120317] |
| spider-ntc-td051.proxy.aol.com |
| Buwahahaha 3rd |
| #4 UltimateFire[120318] |
| spider-ntc-td051.proxy.aol.com |
| After rereading this im still really really confused =[. |
| #5 xdragon[120319] |
| 64.128.98.81 |
| I'm 5th! I'm 5th! |
| #6 abztrak[120320] |
| 12-228-12-120.client.attbi.com |
| 6th |
| #7 IBashar[120321] |
| coyotte-e.insat.com |
Uh, guess what ... 7th
A real BR, pliiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzz !!!!!!!! (i never read fanfics) |
| #8 testosterone[120322] |
| mkc-65-26-50-59.kc.rr.com |
| dragonsven died? |
| #9 Decay[120323] |
| 206.10.109.77 |
Sven died? :( Or did he just quit SC? :(
Anyway, too short. I hope that the next one is longer, but gj. |
| #10 Zeal1590[120325] |
| spider-wq033.proxy.aol.com |
#10 (i just felt like doing that)
GW Kane |
| #11 Roaddog[120328] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| read the next br posted... By forever_knight |
| #12 Squad[120334] |
| h0008a1036612.ne.client2.attbi.com |
| wait..what happened to sven? |
| #13 IcE-Dark_Lord[120359] |
| 8.PPP.NBY1.ENOREO.ON.CA |
| kinda short, no??? take your time too do it well. |
| #14 SiG.[120381] |
| spider-te084.proxy.aol.com |
Svens not dead. just having some fun by having a freind tell everyone he died.
ive seen it before -.- |
| #15 mattzarella[120447] |
| spider-mtc-ta022.proxy.aol.com |
jesus sven's even in this comments section
anyway, kane, i just now got around to reading all of your pieces- great work, minus dialogue, which needs a bit of tweaking.
using your first chapter (if you will) in this series as an example, i only have one suggestion. in all of the writing i've ever done, which includes essays and fiction of my own, i always, always, separate dialogue into different paragraphs like so
"so and so did this"
i'm really not positive if you've done this in any other parts of your series, so please, bear with me, and take it into consideration for 11 as it makes for much easier reading
again, it looks very promising, and i'm anticipating more
|
| #16 Dragonsven[120458] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| wtf r u ppl talking about? |
| #17 vincible[120468] |
| 1Cust23.tnt17.sfo8.da.uu.net |
| Omg, 16 comments and Kane hasn't flamed anyone for calling his story a fanfic. Is Kane dead? |
| #18 mattzarella[120471] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
har har, roaddog
vincible - entertain me plz :( |
| #19 vincible[120472] |
| 1Cust23.tnt17.sfo8.da.uu.net |
Erm, sorry, that joke might have been tasteless.
What are you talking about mattzarella? |
| #20 mattzarella[120473] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
| give me something to do |
| #21 Amoeba_Boy[120481] |
| spider-mtc-tj041.proxy.aol.com |
I'll solve that problem
Hey kane, great FANFIC |
| #22 Epoch[120503] |
| ool-182f0edb.dyn.optonline.net |
Roaddog and Dragonsven have the same IP in this comments section.
Odd... |
| #23 Kane[120510] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| Roaddog = I-ball |
| #24 Roaddog[120529] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
I noticed that too Epoch... But trust, I am not him
Also, I am not this I-ball you speak of |
| #25 Roaddog[120530] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| I suppose we live really close |
| #26 Roaddog[120534] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
and also, the ip's stay the same for each user since Cable is always logged on
hehe im such a spammer |
| #27 mattzarella[120535] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com - "dragonsven"
CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com - roaddog
jesus christ, man, you DO live really close! |
| #28 Roaddog[120536] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| AND ALSO, my ip is different from his if you look closely |
| #29 mattzarella[120538] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
| no it isn't you lying motherfucker |
| #30 Roaddog[120539] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
wtf?
You just copy pasted his twice
CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com him
CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com me
theres a difference.
|
| #31 Roaddog[120540] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| dumbass |
| #32 mattzarella[120541] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
wait whoops copy paste mistake
well you're still a faking lying motherfucker :( |
| #33 Roaddog[120542] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
No I'm not
what the fuck
I've been here way longer than him, I'm not impersonating him
I guess 2 people with the same ISP are all of a sudden the same person |
| #34 mattzarella[120543] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
| in any case you should live close enough to tell us what's really going on, no? |
| #35 Roaddog[120544] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| How the fuck am I supposed to know, people die everyday, people get hit by cars everyday, people fall in comas every day, I can't pinpoint who is who buddy, and not even close to their alias on ther internet and if they go to this site or not |
| #36 mattzarella[120545] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
| calm down there, hoss, was just wondering if you lived in enough of a berg to know |
| #37 Roaddog[120546] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| Well the last posts you were saying im a lying motherfucker, so I'm assuming you still have the same thought when you make the next posts unless you are a contradicting ho. |
| #38 adrenaling[120547] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| WAIT... I USE ROGERS TOO.... IM NOT IMPOERASONATING HIM, AM I!?!??!?! btw, i havent been on bnet for 4 months, so i hope that clears things up... :O |
| #39 mattzarella[120548] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
ling is dragonsven
yes i am a contradicting ho what of it :( |
| #40 adrenaling[120549] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| btw, yes i was faking him.. lol, sry... haha...... |
| #41 Roaddog[120550] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
and has it ever come to you that THAT dragonsven may have just been somoene else in the city nearby that was just feel funny by impersonating him?
No one is saying that is him, and less so if you compare that ip to the rest of the ip's he has when he posts.
So that leaves you with me impersonating him (with a different IP) Or someone else with the same ISP as I impersonating him. Or him not being dead and he has the same ISP as I and posts with that. |
| #42 adrenaling[120551] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| im not dsven, but i WAS faking him... :( |
| #43 Roaddog[120552] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| bah, typed that all up when it was already solved |
| #44 Roaddog[120553] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
and apoligies to CK for explicitly spamming his comments section.
sowwy ;( |
| #45 adrenaling[120554] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| whens the last time (when dsven was alive) dvsen was on? i havent been on for 4-5 months. my bw cd broke and i dont got enough money to buy another (me broke) and my parents wont buy me a copy. |
| #46 adrenaling[120555] |
| CPE014100005949.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| sry roaddog, i see u use rogers as well? |
| #47 mattzarella[120556] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
roaddog - adrenaling is our culprit we can scrape the skin off of his body and boil his internal meats to a fine steak and enjoy his roasted body with a glass of champagne, so no hard feelings
<3 ling's toasted body :( |
| #48 mattzarella[120557] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
| jesus christ i type one thing and we have 4 more comments |
| #49 Roaddog[120558] |
| CPE00105cae268e.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
No, I don't care, he just tried a pratical little joke in this comments section, he is not DSven, their ip's differ greatly when you check DSvens other IPs.
Yes you do see I use rogers as well..
goodnight |
| #50 mattzarella[120559] |
| spider-mtc-ta011.proxy.aol.com |
now i am alone without entertainment and sex in the form of dagomar
all is lost :*( |
| #51 Kane[120594] |
| 12-233-180-134.client.attbi.com |
| 51 |
| #52 IcE-Inforcer[120621] |
| proxy.ia3.marketscore.com |
Nice fanf-
*Story*. |
#53  [120651] |
| Ottawa-ppp3517215.sympatico.ca |
| Mattz, Kane, orgy at 11. Keanu's house. Be there. |
| #54 mattzarella[120654] |
| spider-th011.proxy.aol.com |
they had one thing in common
they were good in bed
she said "faster faster"
the lights are turning red
(eagles ;)
|
| #55 User14[120689] |
| spider-ntc-tc081.proxy.aol.com |
I've been noticing that your description has been slowly deterioating (sP?) your descriptions have lost their crispness taht they had in the very 1st installment. im too lazy to find any examples but if u read over the 1st one and this one you'll see what i mean. Thats the main thing i liked in your writing was your unique settings and making the reader feel like they were in the story, now you're just telling the story.
Maybe its what u meant to do, but im hoping this will improve your writing |
| #56 User14[120690] |
| spider-ntc-tc081.proxy.aol.com |
| btw if u really were having an orgy i bet the girls were butt ugly |
| #57 Epoch[120710] |
| ool-182f0edb.dyn.optonline.net |
45:
I actually saw him very near the posting of that death BR...
I forget exactly what day tho. |
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