| #1 Amoeba_Boy[113948] |
| spider-mtc-tk013.proxy.aol.com |
In case anyone still doesn't know, im the author
Hope you enjoy it and sorry for stealing first |
| #2 Mr.Syco[113950] |
| spider-tk034.proxy.aol.com |
| 1st non-author |
| #3 Amoeba_Boy[113952] |
| spider-mtc-tk013.proxy.aol.com |
| Holy shit our ips are close |
| #4 [113956] |
| 216.199.141.158 |
| spell-check much? |
| #5 Adrenaling[113958] |
| CPE002078e0f4b2.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| hi amoeba, i knew it was u from the start. =] |
| #6 Amoeba_Boy[113960] |
| spider-mtc-tk013.proxy.aol.com |
DAMN
You saw through my foolery |
| #7 AbsoluteGeneus[113967] |
| spider-mtc-tc022.proxy.aol.com |
Lucky 7th
Make it a tad shorter next time maybe? |
| #8 WrAth[113968] |
| px2cv.gv.shawcable.net |
it has some clever parts, and some ridiculous ones.
Overall I think it's an entertaining story. gw.
One thing though, why are all of the soilders, and dagomar, severly and hopelessly retarded?! .... oops, stupid question. I'll rephrase that:
why are all of the soilders so severly and hopelessly retarded?!
|
| #9 CaughtNaked[113969] |
| pcp831326pcs.nrockv01.md.comcast.net |
| huh? |
| #10 SiG.[114022] |
| host-216-77-213-14.fll.bellsouth.net |
hehehe.. "I poked my head out the window and said "you'll have to do better than that captain" - i think thats what ya said... after that i lost interest.
Maybe you should read some Matthew Reilly books, learn from his writing.. An open window, can you say "high powered frag grenades?" Hrm, how about "missile launcher" ... ?
= This reminded me of counter-strike heh..
Read a Matt Reilly book.. If you enjoyed writing this (pretty ok actually) you'll love to read matts books.. They are just fucking amazing. |
| #11 IcE-Inforcer[114046] |
| 209.105.210.34 |
| I liked it. Reminds me the Tom Clancy books a bit. But I don't get why someone would dig bottomless pits under their house. Still, fun to read. |
| #12 ZerG~LinG[114048] |
| p412-084.ppp.get2net.dk |
| Great, plz continue the saga |
| #13 ZerG~LinG[114049] |
| p412-084.ppp.get2net.dk |
AND OH!
Don't anyone compare this to Tom CLancy plz, he's my hero^^
No seriously he writes godlike fiction, very close to reality.
I bet i'll get flamed for saying that
CHJ for rater/God |
| #14 triped[114057] |
| 63.85.132.17 |
| stop writing these |
| #15 DoobieSnacks[114116] |
| c-66-56-1-63.atl.client2.attbi.com |
purty kewl, some blatant grammar mistakes tho.
"It bounced up the cockpit and exploded around the engine. Enveloping the helicopter in smoke."
other than that, semi-exciting and had good fast pace. awaiting next chapter.
8 |
| #16 Me[114131] |
| sdcax50-145.dialup.optusnet.com.au |
Bleh
Didn't like the robot bit, the bit with traps, and the helicopter bit though. Apart from that it was pretty good. |
#17 [114181] |
| St-Catherines-ppp112545.sympatico.ca |
You a Dagomar. He's looking for you, and he's smarter than those tarts :).
Whoa, this was one of the more insane things I've read. asdf, I would've thought you'd make me adjective man or something gay, perhaps tall cause my brs are longass. But . . . having clones is nice . . . I guess :O!
hrm . . . umm . . . 7? 6? I'll go with 6, even though you now know I secretly considered giving it a 7. |
#18 [114182] |
| St-Catherines-ppp112545.sympatico.ca |
| *you MISSED a Dagomar. gay. |
| #19 [114215] |
| pt11-39.rapidnet.com |
| gay |