| #1 Mr.Mediocre[110823] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
| Hope you like it. |
| #2 Eradicate~Me[110825] |
| pa-millscreek2a-174.buf.adelphia.net |
| 1st non author |
| #3 Krebs[110826] |
| h0008c78fa265.ne.mediaone.net |
good fucking times
so much better than the crap posted these days
so refreshing |
| #4 badtz maru[110827] |
| pcp108471pcs.echryh01.nj.comcast.net |
| i do not really understand this type of poetry |
| #5 Sync[110828] |
| cs242234-40.houston.rr.com |
| i love this |
| #6 Mr.Mediocre[110829] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
| its ok badtz, it comes with age and wisdom. When you've been through two wars, 4 wives, and seen all of your children turn on you, like I have, then you'll understand. |
| #7 ==cass==[110830] |
| 65.119.102.117 |
is this a battlereport?
don't just put anything you wrote here ok? |
| #8 [110831] |
| 12-248-243-247.client.attbi.com |
funniest shit ive ever read, even tho in ur comments and shit u seem like ur generally sad...
Ugly Boy
"Here comes ugly boy!"
we would shout,
we'd throw rocks at that boy,
and laugh and laugh at
at his ugly face.
Then one day,
we killed him with a rock,
and hid his body in the river.
omg that among countless others made me BUST OUT laughing... nICE
10 |
| #9 badtz maru[110832] |
| pcp108471pcs.echryh01.nj.comcast.net |
| no i don't understand the style it was written. its fairly simplistic but people seem to appreciate it a lot. i saw a student from Columbia University on abc wrote a similar styled poem about the world trade center attacks. wtf |
| #10 -the o_0-[110833] |
| SHW58-44.accesscable.net |
| lol, from the very first poem I knew it'd be great. rofl, you are God. |
#11  [110834] |
| 192-24.73-24.tampabay.rr.com |
| hahahha |
| #12 derek[110835] |
| ACA80CB0.ipt.aol.com |
| holy shit |
| #13 triped[110836] |
| 63.85.132.17 |
| not interested = |
| #14 CrackHeadJeb[110837] |
| mu-196078.dhcp.missouri.edu |
| 10 |
| #15 Mr.Mediocre[110838] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
| This most certainly is a BattleReport. Its under the "other" category, because its a battlereport of life. Life, man, life. |
| #16 nice pix[110839] |
| 24.241.187.40 |
No it's not really a battlereport (or anything like unto it) so it really shouldn't be posted here. But it's not poetry either, it's just shit. In short, don't post this.
I can
write poetry too,
My skills are unmatched,
in this world,
give me a nine. |
| #17 Mr.Mediocre[110841] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
| that didn't come from the soul nice pix. its gotta come from here *points to heart* |
| #18 Bowgard[110842] |
| 12.21.208.152 |
ohhh purrdy stuff...
gw |
| #19 Phobos_ColZ[110845] |
| AC9AA2BB.ipt.aol.com |
| What...the...fuck? Some of this stuff scares me. 10. |
| #20 NotDefault[110846] |
| h24-83-95-176.vs.shawcable.net |
Vol. 1 was the best. I don't know what that says about how I consider you as a person. :|
NotDefault |
| #21 badtz maru[110848] |
| pcp108471pcs.echryh01.nj.comcast.net |
hehehe
Watch Him Run
You better run little boy!
I giggle as I chase the youngsters,
I'll tickle you with this Napalm again!
Haha, summer days!
|
| #22 SiG.[110852] |
| host-216-77-217-152.fll.bellsouth.net |
YOU are either 1:fucked up
2: odd sense of humor
3: just weird
nothing here made me even think "oh thats funny"
nothing here impressed me (poetically)
but it was pretty entertaining
|
| #23 |]agomar[110853] |
| Ottawa-ppp3517251.sympatico.ca |
Deep. Moving. Inspiring. You sir, are a man of true wisdom.
"I look around at the airs and grasses
And I think...
“Where is them grasses think theys going?”"
I've been waiting for someone to ask that question all my life, though I never realized. NOW, you will Fear me, grasses!!!
8. |
| #24 CrackHeadJeb[110854] |
| mu-196078.dhcp.missouri.edu |
#7 and #16
Poetry is an allowable form of battlereport. There has been precedence for this type of report.
Sheesh, all of these chobofuckers thinking they know battlereports.com policy...
-CHJ |
| #25 Adrenaling[110855] |
| CPE002078e0f4b2.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| i liked this |
| #26 Keanu_Reaver[110856] |
| max01-dynamic-64-65-141-242.sea.eschelon.com |
lol...a tad bit fucked up but funny none the less
7-8 |
| #27 mick[110858] |
| 1Cust61.tnt11.bne1.da.uu.net |
out of all the unrhyming poetry Ive read, this is was the best : D
9-10 |
| #28 Krebs[110859] |
| h0008c78fa265.ne.mediaone.net |
SiG you have no fucking talent whatsoever, and no fucking taste, and your opinion is worng
i dont know how your opinion managed to be wrong, but it did |
| #29 Anonymous[110861] |
| 216-224-156-64.thegrid.net |
Ya whatever, just cause he didn't like the poems. Art is all about how you perceive things, and in this case, i perceive these poems as <blank>
Of course, unless they're children poems....like mother goose...which also sucks shit by the way |
| #30 USER12314234[110862] |
| 24.26.117.237.merrittisland-ubr-a.cfl.rr.com |
That was some very good planning by posting the report in the evening, because everything is funnier at night. Had you posted early morning you would probably have scored 5 optimistically and not recieved any praising comments from sleep deprived readers.
This was a waste of my time. Goodnight |
| #31 stonecoldnewbie[110864] |
| nic-245-c64-22.mn.mediaone.net |
| omfg rofl gold 10 gogogo |
| #32 MatriX(SR)[110865] |
| h000094c60a57.ne.mediaone.net |
you have problems.
funny problems, though.
10 for having funny problems |
| #33 Anonymous[110866] |
| 216-224-156-64.thegrid.net |
never mind, i take that back, i like these poems, good job
i just had to bang my head against the wall 62 times until i saw through the shroud of the expected |
| #34 GODTHEYSUCKED[110867] |
| 24.26.117.237.merrittisland-ubr-a.cfl.rr.com |
Yeah they sucked.
2 for the effort tho
|
| #35 Jamie[110868] |
| tc01220.pcs.mb.ca |
I have loved your poetry since Vol.1
I always show everyone I know your poetry, they always laugh lots, but never as much as myself.
I thought a poem about a child's love for a dog's penis would've done the number though, always have, everytime I read them, I don't know, was a bit disapointed since you didn't cover it this time.
Me and my girlfriend always laugh at them, I love Hole In One, The Great 'Outside'(the one about the missing leg) Sometimes, and Advice. Ah... even Grinding the Corn of Destiny part one and two, excellent. Good job, Mr.Mediocre.
I am your greatest fan. |
| #36 yoda[110869] |
| pm3-1-43.boscobel.mwt.net |
nice
but that dont listen to the man with pointy teeth one was copied from somewhere :O dont remember where but ive read it before |
| #37 yoda[110870] |
| pm3-1-43.boscobel.mwt.net |
oh no wonder you posted vol1 a while ago
fuk me ;D |
| #38 Jamie[110871] |
| tc01220.pcs.mb.ca |
Oh yeah BADTZ MARU
A little poem for ya, since you requested it.
WTC
O, WTC
You ruined my handheld and my fish
You bleached my peach humus
You mated with fourteen spanish wives
But you fell once.
O, WTC
You raped a big glass dildo
And waxed a green turban-horse
You spaked Zarathrustra
But you made me horny.
O, WTC
What the Utilitarian positivists just don't know is,
I pushed it over with a LEGO BLOCK
AHAFhfhalkshhaha
Afghan, Hitler and every Germanic berserker that ransacked and raped those Roman women
I LOVE YOU
Thanks, Jamie.
One last one for Mr.Mediocre.... |
| #39 Dino Din[110872] |
| dynamic-151-135.dorm.natpool.uc.edu |
humm...
I once saw a movie
one man said to another
"I thought you were dead"
the other man replied
"I thought I was too
But then I found out I was just in
Kansas"
;p |
| #40 [sCv][110873] |
| cache7.ihug.com.au |
"DON'T PLAY GAMES"
that, my friends is what it's all about. |
| #41 [SM]Strega~F[110874] |
| 1Cust159.tnt9.adl1.da.uu.net |
| The Dracula one has always been my favourite. Gw. |
| #42 WrAth[110876] |
| px2cv.gv.shawcable.net |
Wonderful. Inspiring.
You should be raised on a pedestal like the goddess you are good sir. |
| #43 AC.on[110877] |
| a3gb7vry1694.bc.hsia.telus.net |
OMG
i usually don't post here.
but this 'report' was funnie as hell
mediocre2win^.- |
| #44 Ramius[110880] |
| charter-DHCP-238.caltech.edu |
good stuff.
i still like vol. 1 best :) |
| #45 CaughtNaked[110881] |
| pcp831326pcs.nrockv01.md.comcast.net |
| seek mental help. quick. |
| #46 Me[110882] |
| sdcax51-015.dialup.optusnet.com.au |
Huh?
err... i agree? |
| #47 dyingsoul[110883] |
| spider-tp021.proxy.aol.com |
| nice to see some people using thier talent to post something other than a video game match ... thnx for the laughs |
| #48 ZerG~LinG[110885] |
| p429-006.ppp.get2net.dk |
Some of these were hilarious, but in general, i don't appreciate these kind of poems.
But hell, whenever some says “FIFTEEN MINUTES TILL FARTIN TIME!” you're bound to laugh =D |
| #49 Mith[110887] |
| dyn29-tm.nbw.tue.nl |
| those poems roeled... |
| #50 Mr.Mediocre[110891] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
| You might have read 'Dracula' on Bob's quote page, I believe he has it there from Vol. 1 back in the day. Thanks for all the compliments, and I have been offered this "mental help" you guys are talking about, but I can't leave those kids in my closet alone long enough to go see someone about it..... |
| #51 TerranTurtle[110894] |
| 64-215-29-150.mon.frontiernet.net |
wtf. gj helping with br.com's further degeneration. idiot.
here's a poem for you:
roses are red
violets are blue
you suck and should stop posting crap.
|
| #52 Squeaky[110899] |
| syr-66-66-32-229.twcny.rr.com |
| Perhaps you could a br entirely in haiku form? That'd rock. |
| #53 triped[110902] |
| 63.85.132.17 |
Two zealots on ramp
they hold position, waiting
to slaughter zerglings
wraiths attacking corsairs
who will win? I think tinfoil
doesn't have a chance.
probes busily mine
while lurker spines create some
bright blue explosions.
nah, it wouldn't work. |
| #54 testosterone[110906] |
| mu-177038.dhcp.missouri.edu |
| looking outside the box is good, i loved the happy/childish picture of the snowman right beneath the ugly boy one :] |
| #55 -the o_0-[110907] |
| SHW58-44.accesscable.net |
"I hear them DRUMS
I HEAR EM
YOURE BEATIN ON EM"
rofl, pure gold. I hope after awhile you make Lookin' in the Grass 4 or something, 'cause this was simply the best. |
| #56 f.u.c.k.t.a.r.d[110908] |
| e0.filt1.davidson.tn.ena.net |
that fucking ruled, man...
you = next major creative genius of our time.
don't know why, but i like the one about your friend derric.
looking forward to whatever you come up with next. |
| #57 simeon2000[110909] |
| 216.144.24.102 |
I may not understand BattleReport policy, but I know what I like. And like it I didn't.
However, wacky - zany poetry and haiku describing a game of "game X" would be pretty neat.
The Big Game
toss vs. zerg
I make lots of dragoons, but
why you disconnect?
... well, maybe it couldn't work. :P |
| #58 angel[110913] |
| h0020e0640dea.ne.mediaone.net |
this was quite fun...nothing will ever top the dracula one though...
ever...
-angel |
| #59 [110914] |
| cvg-65-27-241-109.cinci.rr.com |
| ok im just not understanding this stuff... maybe its jsut me, but it makes no sense here... for example, the Lets Hack one... i follow u up till when the guys says wrestling rules... it makes no sense at that point. Obviously the guy sayin "lets hack" means hackin wit sack, i guess, i could be wrong here too... but so the geek guy is tellin em how to hack a comp. or whatever... but after that, i just dont get it.... I'm not gonna flame u and say ur shit or whatever just cuz i cant understand it, but obviously some people do, and you do, and that's all that matters. |
| #60 binjured[110915] |
| cvg-65-27-241-109.cinci.rr.com |
| #59 is me, if u care = |
#61  [110926] |
| 12-222-60-60.client.insightBB.com |
hmmm, this is how it breaks down for me...
volume 1: 7.5
volume 2: 6
volume 3: 6.5
Rounds close enough for a 7 :)
Highlights for me were "Sometimes", "Derric My Friend", and "Watch Him Run". However, keep in mind that while some of these were good, and some made me laugh, others were just downright dumb... :D Thanks though, it was an enjoyable read. |
| #62 [110931] |
| cache-mtc-ak07.proxy.aol.com |
"But he always stays,
Down there,
In that hole in the ground."
I was seriously lmfao here. This is some funny ass shit. Some of them did scare me a bit, and I've concluded you are destined to be the next Edgar Allen Poe, only with more unresolved issues.
"I'll tickle you with napalm again!!!" |
| #63 Mr.Mediocre[110943] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
binjured, I think the idea behind that was, theres this hacker kid, and hes explaining how to hack (thats why I used the hot term 'mainfram' ; ) and then, some hulk says "shut up faggot, wrestling rules." anyway, its not about hacky sack, cause hacky sack is too gosu for me.
And Dref, Vol. 3 is my all time favorite volume. The Roman Empire is my favorite poem. Thanks for the comments dukes! |
| #64 Anti-Progress[110955] |
| wdsr53-p2-119.daktel.net |
| I don't like poetry, but if I did I might have liked this. At least from what other people are saying. |
| #65 [110956] |
| 12-222-60-60.client.insightBB.com |
| Okay, I'll bite, explain The Roman Empire to me. Why is it your favorite? |
| #66 Mr.Mediocre[110961] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
I'm a big fan of Jack Handey, and of the Red Meat comics, and the whole unexpected/shocking element in their writing really appeals to me. Thats pretty evident in a lot of my stuff, but with Roman Empire, its one of those things that really requires all the other poems around it to be funny. Its the last poem I've ever written, and to me, its like watching one of the funniest stand ups you've ever seen, laughed for like an hours straight, and then he tells you some inane fact about world hunger or something. I don't know, its my own non shocking, shocking ending.
But I guess that didn't make much sense, you know what its like to identify what makes something funny. Anyways, later alligator. |
| #67 mick[110963] |
| 1Cust17.tnt10.bne1.da.uu.net |
Triped #53
"wraiths attacking corsairs
who will win? I think tinfoil
doesn't have a chance. "
that's 6/7/5, not a haiku : (
|
| #68 [110971] |
| 12-248-243-247.client.attbi.com |
I Am Nostradamus!
PREDICTIONS AND STUFF
WOOOGLY GOOGLY
GOOGLY OGGLY
is the poem in Webdings font |
| #69 p0nD[110973] |
| 173.ippool.xville.multipro.com |
| i am proud to say i know this chap irl. and yes ladies, he's available |
| #70 triped[110983] |
| 63.85.132.17 |
dammit!
I suck at haikus...told ya it wouldn't work =P |
| #71 KissBlade[111008] |
| as5300-0.216-194-5-118.nyc.ny.metconnect.net |
| Ok, I didn't even bother reading most of the comments but it's obvious now half of the br population just composes of random teenagers who don't go out at all. That IS how real poetry is written. Read Marie Howe, the kind of stuff in the contents are pretty similar in style. Sorry but realize for a minute, not all poetry is, "roses are red, violets are blue, My hydralisks, ownz you". By the way, I would rate this about a 5 to 6 only though. I really needed to actually read the description you put at the end to get where's the connection. The life part was pretty obvious but, not enough to really touch me. But than again, I'm an emotional fuck when it comes to writing so don't take my critique to heart. ^^ |
| #72 runaway_bride[111011] |
| 137.ippool.xville.multipro.com |
| Wrestling DOES rule, and i liked the part about mike tyson representing God. These are some good poems. You can really relate to them. I think everyone knows an ugly boy, they might even be one. And poor Derric, about the loss of a close friend. I wish everyone could see the real beauty behind your art, but that's never going to happen. Real deep shit Mediocre. DONT EVER WRITE A HAIKU BR though, they suck. Keep on keepin on man, later. |
| #73 Spuzz[111014] |
| 63.175.166.95 |
What a breath of fresh air...these were really fun to read (and didn't take long to load!)
Spuzz |
| #74 Negrotica[111033] |
| ckvl-cs05-t76.citlink.net |
Way to go man. You truly have a poet's soul and a very definite grasp on human imagination. Don't let the untalented losers get you down. They can never begin to understand the complexity and deepness of character represented in you, Mr. Mediocre. Just keep on keepin on and writing great shit.
ANTICHRIST DEVILCHILD 4EVER!!!!! |
| #75 Kuna~ling~us[111054] |
| pcp01376781pcs.selrsv01.pa.comcast.net |
| OMFG LMFAO |
| #76 Dragonsven[111126] |
| s24.dial1.pro.nac.net |
A leaf falls from an oak tree,
Seaking the soft soil below.
It finds asphalt.
Shit.
-Sven |
| #77 Twip[111173] |
| 0-1pool193-234.nas5.columbus1.oh.us.da.qwest.net |
"I'm a big fan of Jack Handey, and of the Red Meat comics..."
And I had just been about to suggest to you that you e-mail SNL and tell them you are the new Jack Handey. I've actually seen a lot of Red Meat stuff too. Friend sent me a bunch of them a year or two ago.. I recognized your sig, lol.
I think this would probably be hilarious to anyone who's big on poems. The unexpected twist can be funny, but then I come to expect it and that undermines the entertainment value of things like that.
This amused me. I had never seen the first one before. :) |
| #78 Twip[111174] |
| 0-1pool193-234.nas5.columbus1.oh.us.da.qwest.net |
| Btw the pictures were genius. lol |
| #79 Squeaky_The_Squirrel[111185] |
| spider-wl024.proxy.aol.com |
| OMG! Mr.Mediocre you are GOD! One thing..can you right a poem about squirrels please? I just want to see what you can do.. Thanks. |
| #80 Anti-Progress[111212] |
| wdsr53-p1-191.daktel.net |
I Am Nostradamus!
PREDICTIONS AND STUFF
WOOOGLY GOOGLY
GOOGLY OGGLY
tee hee |
| #81 Prodigy-yes-im-posting-again[111296] |
| adsl-64-172-198-105.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net |
| Dude, you have done it again, i was literraly falling off my chair laughing, this is great stuff, straight 10's. and i proclaim you the best regular reporter of 2002 |
| #82 terrannewb[111299] |
| dhcp0149.kin.resnet.group.upenn.edu |
| This reminded me of poems I used to write when I was in the third grade. Then again, poetry is open-ended with an enormous amount of leeway in what is considered poetry, very much like modern art. All in all, the poems were decent, albeit very sadistic at times. Doesn't deserve the ratings though. |
| #83 Aikon[111378] |
| 24.31.247.33 |
| ah, good read :) thx |
| #84 Bosnia[111530] |
| HSE-Ottawa-ppp161807.sympatico.ca |
| im my country we kill stupid men like you.....remember battlereports not fag poems. |
| #85 LuckyNewbie:P[111658] |
| dialup-65.58.61.147.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net |
| the great country of canada |
| #86 Mr.Mediocre[111704] |
| 149.149.205.38 |
| Canadians aren't even allowed to have guns. :D |
| #87 tj[113104] |
| ckvl-dsl3-t149.citlink.net |
| i will kill your face!!! quit writing somethings! |
| #88 mistears[114223] |
| sc-24-31-40-154.socal.rr.com |
| plz mediocre let me use the awesome pictures on ur br for my webpage. |
| #89 SJenkins[121944] |
| palo1.pacific.net.sg |
| nice. |
| #90 Triped[146834] |
| cf2.utc.com |
i still like my haikus, even the one I screwed up
and these are fucking great, why did I say "not interested"
so many questions |
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