| #1 Dino Din[110112] |
| dynamic-154-075.dorm.natpool.uc.edu |
| frist, this report better not be lame |
| #2 Dino Din[110113] |
| dynamic-154-075.dorm.natpool.uc.edu |
| fuck it is, i withdraw my frist |
| #3 Dino Din[110114] |
| dynamic-154-075.dorm.natpool.uc.edu |
im gonna say this once
"Game Type: Starcraft "
Dumbass |
| #4 KooKooBaBoo[110115] |
| h000a277d260a.ne.mediaone.net |
| WHAT is a frist? |
| #5 KooKooBaBoo[110116] |
| h000a277d260a.ne.mediaone.net |
FOUND AN ERROR:
"He pushed the throttle hard and grab the handle firmly."
It should be GRABBED.
You did NOT proofread this. 1. |
| #6 ktimekiller[110117] |
| ip68-4-244-74.oc.oc.cox.net |
GAWD!!! Now everyone hates my story except for me...
I think this story is toooooooo lame. |
| #7 ktimekiller[110118] |
| ip68-4-244-74.oc.oc.cox.net |
| Yeah..... I better quit this and start writing REAL br. |
| #8 Manius[110119] |
| adsl-20-89-128.asm.bellsouth.net |
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too short man. Make it longer and it'll be better.
2 |
| #9 Mattkid[110120] |
| 00-60-97-d5-1d-d0.bconnected.net |
| Ok, first thing make it longer. Second make it longer. Third, well you .. uh should make it longer |
| #10 Mattkid[110121] |
| 00-60-97-d5-1d-d0.bconnected.net |
| Oh and the start was pretty good but not enough detail |
| #11 triped[110122] |
| 63.85.132.17 |
Whoever said die fanfics knew what they were talking about.
leave br.com to the brs. |
| #12 SiG.[110128] |
| host-216-77-217-190.fll.bellsouth.net |
The action was great, but it lasted for like 1 minute?
Make it like 10x longer than that and it will be good. |
| #13 |]agomar[110199] |
| StCatherines-ppp109085.sympatico.ca |
| what you wrote wasn't bad. 4 |
| #14 Tavernology[110369] |
| 1Cust188.tnt5.adl1.da.uu.net |
Read Drefsab's fanfic, get inspiration, then write a good one.
This showed potential, but it wasn't realised fully. Don't put "To be continued..." at the end, just write more.
4-5 |