| #1 UDontKnOwME[80773] |
| spider-we041.proxy.aol.com |
| Ok, third installment online. Have fun reading it. Feel free to post any comments you want. Sorry about any errors, bye! |
| #2 MatrisKing[80774] |
| pacific17-165.infoserv.uakron.edu |
| 1st non |
#3  [80775] |
| spider-tm081.proxy.aol.com |
| Good report. 10! |
#4  [80776] |
| proxy1.spaceproxy.com |
| this report is crap i give a fuckin 0 |
| #5 UDontKnOwME[80788] |
| cache-mtc-ag10.proxy.aol.com |
| can you give me a good reason to give it a 0 .praetor? |
| #6 ()Planeswalker()[80807] |
| bgm-24-95-144-133.stny.rr.com |
| Heres a reason: You got everybody else to practically write it for you. Your asking them what you should be writing at the end of the report. |
| #7 ()Planeswalker()[80809] |
| bgm-24-95-144-133.stny.rr.com |
| Praetor can write whatever he wants about your report. tpye his name in the search and you'll see why. |
| #8 ()Planeswalker()[80810] |
| bgm-24-95-144-133.stny.rr.com |
| Oh yeah first non-author, non-rater |
| #9 UDontknOwME[80812] |
| spider-ti081.proxy.aol.com |
| listen Planeswalker, I respect .praetor a lot. I just want to know why he gave it a 0, so next time, it will be better and he won't give it a 0. Does that make sense. And i'm not asking them to write the report, I'm asking what i can do to make the report better for EVERYONE's enjoymet. That's what writing a battle report/fanfic is all about right? Oh, and by the way, I have already read all of his reports. Ask before you speak next time Planeswalker |
| #10 UDontKnOwME[80813] |
| spider-ti081.proxy.aol.com |
| Does anyone else realize that people LOVE to say whats really bad about reports, and not whats good, unless the report is really well written? That kinda pisses me off... o well... who cares? |
| #11 Monty Pylon[80827] |
| gateway.Culinary.EDU |
| Sorry but i find your writing style confusing. You have many short chapters and they skip. Maybe you should write a solid and longer piece of fan fic. Make one story and don't completely ask for the readers to write the whole story. Imput is imput but keep the bulk of the story yours. |
| #12 [80834] |
| rm03-24-131-186-223.ce.mediaone.net |
| its not really praetor nor was it mark4, someone hacked into their accounts |
| #13 silverj[80851] |
| cache.bora.net |
I agree with M.P., one longer fan fic is easier to digest than several short chapters.
"Ask before you speak next time Planeswalker"? Didn't you invite comments? |
| #14 Black Label[80889] |
| nchobo02.telenet-ops.be |
| First non-gay comment |
| #15 Forceguy[80890] |
| p3EE3C1D1.dip.t-dialin.net |
Really, this is 100% like PLC now, the story at least.
Its oK to ask for advide, but dont always do evrything youre adviced to do. If you think something suits YOUR story best do it, because ity YOURS. You can never produce something evryone will like so dont try to. |
| #16 UDontKnOwME[80923] |
| spider-wl024.proxy.aol.com |
| Ok, I will start doing that. The only reason that I reacted like that to Planeswalker was that... o nevermind. whatever. I haven't read PLC in a while, so I don't really know if i'm copying. Maybe I'm submentally thinking about his report as i type... I don't know. But, I as said, the story goes beyond Auir. The battle is only a medium size part of the story. Forceguy, in the last story, you said you would like to help me out with the story by checking out what I write first. How could I do that? I want to make the story better, but keep it my own. Would that work? Thanks for commenting peeps, and I will take MP's advice and make one LONG chap. instead of small ones. That small chap. at the beginning of this fanfic was only something to get the Protoss out of the way so I could move to Terran and Zerg. I don't want to be Toss repeatedly throughout the story. Ok, I'm done |
| #17 ()Planeswalker()[80934] |
| bgm-24-95-144-133.stny.rr.com |
| are you gay? there i asked |
| #18 ()Planeswalker()[80935] |
| bgm-24-95-144-133.stny.rr.com |
| Try asking how to do a report before you actually do it. Don't waste peoples time by sending in your trial and error reports |
| #19 ThieverIV[81052] |
| spider-mtc-tf053.proxy.aol.com |
| You can't develop a good writing style by asking people how to write well, it's something that you learn as you go. He's not wasting people's time, they don't have to read it, do they? |
#20  [81094] |
| proxy1-external.bremtn1.wa.home.com |
This one is better than the other two.
Good things to say about it are that you used spacing and it got a little interesting in the storyline where the Terran are forming an alliance with both. Strife makes a good base for a story.
Typos are typos, but Aiur is spelled A I U R. Really an inconsequential thing, but it bugs me. (no, it does not make or break your story, just a point).
As far as the other comments in regards to your following advice to a "T" rather than writing your own stuff, I agree with writing your own stuff.
Writing a fan-fic is probably the hardest thing to do. It's really English Lit 101. You write a story. You have this huge and fantastic ideal in your head and you have to get others to see your wonderful vision by text alone. This is not easily done.
The only thing for sure is to get better, you have to write more.
-Dr.Z |
#21  [81177] |
| 208.196.35.239 |
I really wish people would finish these before releasing them. If they are too long, release them consecutively in parts. When I read an unfinished work, I usually feel like I have wasted my time. This is the case here. Though what you have is pretty good.
4
Dref |
| #22 UDontKnOwME[81209] |
| bsg-ma9c-63.rasserver.net |
Ok, I am glad that these raters have given me a score better than a two. But i now realize I've got to do my own stuff. I know it's a little frustrating when i submit these fanfics at dif. times, but I don't really have enough time to do a seriously long one. But you guys are right, and since it's a saturday, I will make this next addition REALLY long. Basically, my goal is to get as good as Monty Pylon at wrighting these fanfics. Time to make a good rating!!!!
UDontKnOwME |
| #23 ~ZC~K@O$[81303] |
| 216.241.44.88 |
It sux peeps gotta be mean =) but overall ur story isn't amazing, but it is entertaining no doubt. Dr. z had best comment, so read that over and over and follow that advice. Ane keep at it, that all that will make u better. And no matter what you do, someone will always dislike it (when dref put out worlds collide, i remember someone big time giving it shit, and that was a great story) so dun give up. And i curious what happens next keke.
Peace
-kaOs |
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