| #1 [ScV][76919] |
| cache4.ihug.com.au |
First!
Gogogogo
good to go
ScV |
| #2 [ ! ][76920] |
| CL-10-195.CGPVICTO.QC.CA |
| Marsupilami ! |
| #3 [76922] |
| spider-wg043.proxy.aol.com |
| THIRD |
| #4 CKane[76927] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
*yawn*
nice background though.
5 |
| #5 CKane[76928] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
| <marquee> mark gimme rating power gogogo </marquee> |
#6  [76933] |
| as530021.infocom.com |
Typical Starship trooper theme that is often seen in Starcraft fanfic. This isn't always a bad thing, your writing style is good. However, the setting was too vague and the way you were jumping around made no sense. Either post the entire story at once when its finished, or at least give us some idea as to where you're going. There just isn't much of a story here at this point.
4
Cheers,
Dref |
| #7 TerranNavel[76948] |
| h000094b63add.ne.mediaone.net |
| <marquee>don't give Ckane rating powers mark gogogo |
| #8 [AsF]AzNSuNBoY[76952] |
| AC855087.ipt.aol.com |
<marquee>
S
<BR>
T
<BR>
O
<BR>
P
<BR>
U
<BR>
S
<BR>
I
<BR>
N
<BR>
G
<BR>
M
<BR>
A
<BR>
R
<BR>
Q
<BR>
U
<BR>
E
<BR>
E
</marquee>
Wonder how that turns out |
| #9 [AsF]AzNSuNBoY[76953] |
| AC855087.ipt.aol.com |
| Whoops; that turned out large |
| #10 Scarab[76967] |
| AC8B2FD1.ipt.aol.com |
to me about all these fanfics are like the same
kane, do you like try to be such a fucking idiot? |
| #11 Monty Pylon[76972] |
| spider-wd034.proxy.aol.com |
| A good try but I agree with CKane and Dref. Too Starship troopers to say the least. Stay focused and make your chapters longer. Nice backround but that's a bout it. |
| #12 CKane[76975] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
| </marquee> |
| #13 CKane[76976] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
| Did i fix it? |
| #14 CKane[76977] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
| </marquee> Okay, didnt work |
| #15 Scarab[76997] |
| AC8B2FD1.ipt.aol.com |
| kane..you just really need to not post anything on the internet ever again |
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