| #1 mattkid[75128] |
| 00-60-97-d5-1d-d0.bconnected.net |
| 1st and i read it |
| #2 {ahc}overmind[75132] |
| user-2ivebah.dialup.mindspring.com |
2nd, and i was in it. So cool that it's unbelievable. Of course one could say that I would give it a 10 only because i was in it. But this is indeed your story, so i won't try and debate this with you. But I still say that you should put yourself in it, and keep serov in it too, or else wrapping up the story with him leaving is pretty bad. Also, (i said this already) put yourself in it
EX,
Overmind: Look, it's a blue guy, and he has a notebook with him. He's writing stuff down.
Raynor: Shut up AHC, and keep shooting
Overmind: Let me see what he's doing
Overmind grabs the notebook from the blue colored guy
Overmind: Who are you?
Monty: DOn't harm me, I'm from the past, I'm a xel'naga, I'm writing a story about your exploits
OVermind flips through the notebook, this is cool writing but, AHHH
A hydralisk's spines embed themselves into AHC's brain and he dies
Of course I'm only joking but, it would be cool to have ytourself in this think
P.S. Also, if i die, make it an assasination, not in a blaze of glory, broodlings or something |
| #3 Monty Pylon[75134] |
| gateway.Culinary.EDU |
| You are too quick to assume that serov is home free. At the end of this there will be a finale of a huge cluster fuck of literary shiznit. |
| #4 {ahc}overmind[75138] |
| user-2ivebah.dialup.mindspring.com |
| cool, I assume too much then |
| #5 awe 6[75143] |
| proxy3-external.pinol1.sfba.home.com |
!!excellent story!! something doesnt make sense though (it might be just me, if so, feel free to yell, go on i can take it), in episode 4, just at the end, it describes Jim Raynor being held as a prisoner of the zerg, and here in episode 5 he's planning an attack. is one of these a flashback or something? if anyone can answer i would very much appreciate it...
-awe 6 |
| #6 Outsider[75144] |
| spider-wo084.proxy.aol.com |
| Heh I'm a lil confused also...GJ tho... |
| #7 -citizenkane-[75146] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
My mouth waters...
my pupils dilate...
my brain screams, Another Monty Installment!
I get an orgasm...
and then go read the report. |
| #8 -citizenkane-[75147] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
My dick has taken a quick dive...
What the hell happened? Where's the lost temple?
6
Put me in it too. Make me Master Citizen of some Protoss faction. Itll be kewl ^^ |
| #9 Monty Pylon[75150] |
| gateway.Culinary.EDU |
| This is a flashback sequence. Episode 1-4 were ment to create the Serov story and create 2 new storylines. One is the Raynor story and the other is the Samir Duran/mengsk/protoss story. All 3 collide in the final chronicle. |
| #10 -citizenkane-[75151] |
| c209662-a.haywd2.sfba.home.com |
Cool.
If there's a bad guy, I get to be him!! ^_^ |
| #11 awe 6[75155] |
| proxy2-external.pinol1.sfba.home.com |
| ok, i see it! thx! keep up the great story :) |
| #12 =|KS|=SplaSh[75198] |
| spider-tl051.proxy.aol.com |
| uhm i thouht raynnor was up in kerrigan's place being raped by her.. but now i just went back and saw the comments GW altough the 1st 4 were better qaulity this was good too |
| #13 -=Forsaken=-[75221] |
| c187114217.telekabel.chello.nl |
Ownz Monty it just ownz....... the story just gets a hold of me and I'm just dying to read the following part man.... damn this stuf is addicting who needs Stimpack :P
Kek :) Live for the Swarm yo :P
Nice job keep it going I'm ddddyyyyiiinnngggg for part 6 :) |
| #14 Heero_Yamato[75223] |
| hil-qbu-ptp-vty9.as.wcom.net |
| cool cool cool! Be sure to put up the next chapter soon!!! This series rox! |
| #15 Monty Pylon[75233] |
| gateway.Culinary.EDU |
| I wanted it to use a few traits from those characters from BR.com. Notice Sid's good, bad and ugly news. the next one should be out by this weekend or sooner. |
| #16 {ahc}overmind[75234] |
| user-2iveb2m.dialup.mindspring.com |
| ahmen, i can't descibe myself, but I would say that I'm a guy who loves details, and has to much self-pity, thinking that the world hates him |
#17  [75411] |
| proxy1-external.bremtn1.wa.home.com |
Heh, I had no idea I would be in a fan-fic. Pretty cool. I like the way we are getting to see Raynor's story.
Hahaha, Sid, don't forget, the story is not told yet, you may get raped by transexuals yet. And just think, they will be bots - hahahaha. Bot sex sounds too close to butt sex, better be careful there!
GJ Monty.
-Dr.Z |
| #18 ThieverIV[75505] |
| spider-tr061.proxy.aol.com |
Remains excellent. A little short on commas (a theme throughout the stories) but still excellent. Please keep up the good work!
(btw I was going to do a fan fic from pre-starcraft w/ Duke and first zerg sighting, but now I'll have to wait till this is over. Grrrrr...)
|
| #19 ThieverIV[75506] |
| spider-tr061.proxy.aol.com |
| Oh and btw, why was this called "The Ghost Riders" if the ghost riders were discovered dead on Braxis? |
| #20 TerranTurtle[75513] |
| 207.198.174.36 |
| Interesting story, but using players names for characters = stupid. I mean I'm sure the ones you did include were pleased to be wanked a little, but it just seems so out of place. Other than that, gj. |
| #21 Monty Pylon[75601] |
| gateway.Culinary.EDU |
| To answer 20 they had ghost suits and the riders on Braxis are dead double meaning. As for TT I just try to shake things up a little. I think its coool to use people from the sight as long as it isn't ridiculous. No offense but your name probably wounldn't work but I did use names that could benefit the story. |
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