| #1 .Seph[63678] |
| 202.188.209.141 |
| First~ |
| #2 CynicalMagician[63679] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Actual conversation with fractal the night before I posted this:
Captain 8/23/00 1:35 AM i'll give you 3 guesses as to what i'm looking up on the internet right now. i'll give you a hint. it is illegal, but it's nothing sexual
Fractal_Wa 8/23/00 1:36 AM -music
-drugs
-cracked games
Captain 8/23/00 1:36 AM ha, wrong. information regarding the fabrication of nuclear weaponry.
Fractal_Wa 8/23/00 1:37 AM you live in nanaimo, right? would you mind moving north a dash...say to, ooh... yellow knife? ;)
Captain 8/23/00 1:37 AM i just needed a picture of plans that i can use for my br
Fractal_Wa 8/23/00 1:38 AM suuure you do. ward! the beaver's trying to take over the world again....could you talk to him?
Captain 8/23/00 1:38 AM hahahahhhhahahahahaaa
Captain 8/23/00 1:38 AM that so should be a quote at the top.
Fractal_Wa 8/23/00 1:39 AM ;) not SC related..& most people dont know a THING about 50's sitcoms
Captain 8/23/00 1:39 AM very true. philistines
Captain 8/23/00 1:39 AM actually now i'm looking for pictures of vans.
Fractal_Wa 8/23/00 1:40 AM vans. have i mentioned lately that you're strange? no? you're strange. there. my duty to mankind is discharged ;)
Captain 8/23/00 1:40 AM haha. you'll see. you'll all see. all of y ou that laughed8!*&@^!&(&!^^&!!&&!!!&*
Captain 8/23/00 1:42 AM argh, all i want is a picture of a fucking van, about 300 x 300 or bigger. this shouldn't be hard, but it is
Enjoy!
-CM |
| #3 Herminator[63680] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
3rd
now to read....
|
| #4 ::nobody::[63682] |
| dt0110nd9.san.rr.com |
GOOD LORD
Ok Cyn that was huge...and FUNNY AS ...um... MORE FUNNY THAN ANYTHING! i was lmao. the anime part ruled except ur bad guy was Ikari Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelon :P But seriously the anime stuff has my literally laughing out loud.
so much info i read about half of everything ;P. It is all SO DAMN FUNNY tho :D keke the name picker owns too. keke ill finish it all later :D
ownage
ciao!
Nobo
|
| #5 DivvyO[63683] |
| 162.119.232.100 |
| "Change the map name to $$$$$$$THE BEST MAP EVER$$$$$$$" alone makes me wanna give this thing a 10 ;) |
| #6 WarLeaderJustin[63684] |
| spider-ti084.proxy.aol.com |
This was beyond calibar. Is that how you spell it? Ah well, this was extremely funny. I too was lmao throughout the whole thing. You know how to combine writing skills with humor very well.
A clear 100% from me.
-WLJ |
| #7 Dialtone_[63685] |
| athe530-k054.otenet.gr |
| <i>Caligula Pimpin</i>(tm). :) |
| #8 testosterone[63687] |
| mkc-166-189-55.kc.rr.com |
| hahah, every needs to take time to read all of this, down to the very last sentence, haha, every part was awesome |
| #9 Herminator[63690] |
| px3cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
I read the whole damn thing through, every single sentence (some twice!) and i fucking luved it... it was so... um... whats a really good sounding word.... it was very Exquisitely, Excellently, Colosusully, Magnificently, Grandoisely, Earth Shatteringly, Monstrously, Cosmosquilitly (yes i made that last one up) good!
i luved it
10!!!!
CM FOR HOF ASAP PLZ
-Herm |
| #10 Fractal_Wave[63691] |
| 24.67.140.114.bc.wave.home.com |
DIALTONE_!!!!!
You read sinfest too?
;)
Cynic, I am speechless. This is funny as hades
All the best,
Fractal_Wave
|
| #11 Breeze[63693] |
| 195.24.46.183 |
Wow Cyn that's enourmous! I was wondering why it took you so much time, now I see... Hahah damn it... it's f#$%ing great :)))))))))))))) (you know what that smiley means and I rarely do such long ones)
The most I liked the parts about battle.net ID's and clan wars and making/joining games...
You rule, man |
| #12 SqueakyMonkey[63697] |
| osh1-436.twcny.rr.com |
Wow. Just...wow. I mean...wow. I'm...just...wow.
Wow. |
| #13 Scrode[63700] |
| proxy.chicago.xor.com |
CM you are my hero! I'm still LMAO... That was awesome!!
10! 10! |
| #14 DragonValgarv[63701] |
| wiggum.nawcad.navy.mil |
OMFG..
I'm glad I'm not given to laughing out loud or I would have been in a lot of trouble here at work.
This was soooo FUCKING AWESOME, one of the few *completely unquestionable* 10's I've read. The sheer amount of funny shit is just...@#$^(*@!& incredible.
I mean, Carmen Sandiego? l33t names? ANIME? Too much awesomeness in one report =
But the term "penguin fellatio" gets you an automatic 10. @_@
Too damned good..
~DV |
| #15 Inssider[63705] |
| ool-18bf2e8f.dyn.optonline.net |
| Funny in an extremely disturbing sort of way. 10 |
| #16 `~DarKnight~'[63711] |
| 08-131.022.popsite.net |
literally funny as hell.
-10 for not making fun of my YRM skillz
+1000000 for the hilarity |
| #17 Silent~Death[63715] |
| ip67.saskatoon3.dialup.canada.psi.net |
That was awesome funniest thing in hell....11
wheres the BR?? |
| #18 CynicalMagician[63716] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Thanks for the support guys. I'm a little disappointed with the anonymous rating, but I suppose they did that to prevent being lynched by the rest of you >). I suppose I'll have to continue being... The People's Reporter.
-CM |
| #19 WarLeaderJustin[63727] |
| spider-te032.proxy.aol.com |
I fully believe this should have gotten a 100%. I also believe in a previous arguement (forgot who began it) that a rater should comment on which rating he gave. He should give his suggestions or praise. It's just good manner, that's all. Online ettiquite.
Just my thoughts, mind you.
-WLJ |
| #20 <font color="blue">AMD-SUX</font>[63728] |
| spc-isp-van-uas-28-93.sprint.ca |
| yellow |
| #21 PrincessCollsy[63729] |
| AC9FC6F0.ipt.aol.com |
| Nifty report Cyn. Some parts were rather.. umm.. hmm... disturbing I suppose, but overall it was funny. You plan on stealing me from Slings and marrying me? Awww..how sweet. :o) Nice work Cyn. |
| #22 Dragon_Monk[63742] |
| 130.33.201.169 |
| This has to be one of the best I ever read. no joke |
| #23 <b><font color="GREEN">i am batman</font></b>[63761] |
| cd280726-a.scrfld1.mb.wave.home.com |
| HAHAHHAAHAHHAHAH IF I WAS A MARKER I WOULD GIVE U A 20 OR ++++++++++ |
| #24 Fractal_Wave[63766] |
| 24.67.140.114.bc.wave.home.com |
A brillant piece of work Cynical....but as Silent Death said
"where's the BR?"
That's probably why it's only at 8. And is this an 'Other' report? Others never get many ratings.
There's no law or etiquitte saying a rater has to comment on his rating. In fact, that's a reletively new development.
But this is still utterly hilarious
All the best,
Fractal_Wave
|
| #25 m|ndcontrol[63773] |
| ras-14.cyberglobe.net |
| It was cool. I'm a not much of a bnetter so most of it wasn't all that funny for me, but some of it was pretty damn good :) Btw, its not really the people in quebec who want to seperate, most of us could care less. It's the goddamn fucking politicians running our province that care about it, bunch of high handed wannabe important lamers running the show for us :( The fact remains that everytime its come to a vote seperation has been defeated albeit by a small margin. We love canada, don't lose faith in us! :) |
| #26 Sonneillon[63789] |
| tsdlsk01d01010110.sk.sympatico.ca |
<i><font size ="-2"> What is GvE? Good vs Evil apparently, but more commonly known as Gay Varsity Elite, or Get fiVe Enemas. It's a clan. The members are jackasses. If it's not temple, they don't play. If it's an island map, they start to cry. I have tried numerous times under many different names to get a game with them, but to no avail. The best they could offer was a 4pooling contest on Bloodbath. That is why I hate GvE. So imagine my surprise when I ran into =GvE=Logic (Editor's Note: His name is an oxy-moron. Nice.) in a game of !!HOT CHICK MADNESS!!. I immediately informed him that he was a part of a crapassed clan, and let him know that I was going to kill him. Once into the game, I found that it would be easier than I thought, because I had received Jenny McCarthy as my madness unit (goliaths), and he got Pamela Lee (zealots). I arranged my units a line, baited his zlots, and frankly blew him and his 'hot chick's house!!!!' (bunker) to hell. He died fighting, but still surrounded by a million thousand goliaths laughing at him. My ass=his face. No wait, my face=his ass. No, I was right the first time. My ass=his face. That's right, biatch.
</i><font size="3">
You rock cynical. I am very proud to say you are more insane then I am. Since everyone else has already covered what needed to be said, I have one thing to say:
*In the voice of Keana Reaves*
"Whoa, excellent man."
10.
I guess Mark just doesn't appreciate a juvenile taste in humor. =] |
| #27 Wangsonn[63792] |
| fcs00gsp.gsp.bellsouth.net |
| rofl i loved it. |
| #28 Wisest~Yoda[63793] |
| pm3-1-158.boscobel.mwt.net |
asgdfluianbsdougfybasdfnasdilfuhasdljfasd
"ask yodas mom"
hsaodfnasuidfkygbawenrlsdukfybansdf;asdf
u rule =D |
| #29 _Insanitarium_[63795] |
| dialup-63.208.95.135.Miami1.Level3.net |
Yes! my chance for fame has arisen! Just look in the Fun with UMS section to the part with a million cannons! I had those cannons yeah! Who is the pimp? Thats right, also thats my gosu smiley face ya! =] mine mine mine! Kekekeke!
CM you rock da party! Get down baby gonna make ya freak!!!
Definite 10 for my reference =] =]
Insan |
#30  [63796] |
| 63.164.154.2 |
I gave it a 10. It was a crapload of work, and it was funny as hell. I loved that japanese monster film, animated gif. hahaha
-JV |
#31  [63797] |
| as530035.infocom.com |
Where to begin. I guess I'll start by making up a word. This report was <i>Fatabulousious!!</i> Seriously.
First, I've heard talk by some people of this report being disjointed but I really think that there is definetly a coherenet <i>Life on Battle.net</i> theme flowing throughout this report. I can almost imagine VM traveling throughout the many states (or provinces if you will) of Battle.net, pen and paper in hand, chronicling his experiences. Even the Anime and French sections stem from the strangeness of their appearance in our gaming community and ways that even the most "inexperienced" can deal with them.
True some parts of the report appear to be "a guide" and others appear to be "a journal". However, even the guide sections appear to be tips from things you experienced during your "journey".
I think the one mistake made here was the fact that you didn't use the introduction above your neat-oh graphic thingy to tie your sections at least loosely together in a mini summary (couldn't spacemen wait until next time since there weren't many graphics to load?). But that is a relatively small issue considering the hilarity of some of the things written here. Seriously, I think my neighbors might have called the men in white coats.
<blockquote>
Carmen_Sandiego: I'm a world wide thief! I've stolen a library and you have to catch me.
{][)K}RaVeR: I know where you are. You're in my fucking ass. Bitch.
Carmen_Sandiego: I'm on the move! I'm not in Qatar anymore, now I've moved to the country with the highest number of sheep per capita!
</blockquote>
And when I saw the picture of that van (1987 suburban for payload delivery) I had tears in my eyes.
The <i>Dante's Inferno</i> reference was downright ROFLMAO as well.
Anyway, I've droned on long enough. You get a 10 from me old chap. Good job<i>!</i>
Cheers,
Dref |
| #32 CynicalMagician[63799] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Yes! A ten from dref! That means a lot, really it does.
By the way, the whole 'life on battlenet' theme was definitely here. If you asked me now why I started writing it (the first article was L33T names) about a month ago, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Honestly, I don't really know.
Thanks for the compliments everyone though, this is, IMHO, my best BR ever, and I don't think I'll be able to top it any time soon. Lord konws I'll try though.
-CM |
| #33 Wisest~Yoda[63801] |
| pm3-1-158.boscobel.mwt.net |
i just finished it up and caught the other "make fun of yoda comment"
ah well this was a great peice of work, cyn you are a awesome guy and one of the few reasons i want to stay in this community
really =D
later
yoda |
| #34 w[63802] |
| pm3-1-158.boscobel.mwt.net |
| cyber? |
| #35 Wisest~Yoda[63803] |
| pm3-1-158.boscobel.mwt.net |
shit that was me oops
well? |
#36  [63810] |
| inehou-pxy03.compaq.com |
Wow that's a lot of stuff! CM great job. ROFL man this was funny!!!
9
Fox^1 |
| #37 GammaRayBurst[63813] |
| dnai-216-15-61-236.cust.dnai.com |
wowowowowowowowowow!!!!!!!
I have never laughed harder at anything posted here. Everything, and I mean everything, had me cracking up. Wow....
-GRB |
| #38 shameless[63817] |
| spider-wq011.proxy.aol.com |
hmmmmm, too much free time = D
it was cool tho
hmmm
38th |
| #39 TerranTurtle[63825] |
| pc91dn03.fcc.net |
| Truly a trip to the bizarre nether regions of the mind. You get -1 point for making fun of Americans, but other than that, I was truly impressed by your off-the wall humor. It reminded me of Seanbaby. (www.seanbaby.com for those who have yet to make a pilgrimage to the Master) |
| #40 Phobos_ColZ[63826] |
| spider-wg074.proxy.aol.com |
Mousse T is cool, especially that song. Anyway, that was a hilarious group of stories, certainly a revealing look at the scum, err, melting pot that is B.net. Since it never failed to make me laugh at least once every minute, I give it a 10.
As ever,
Phobos_ColZ |
| #41 ::nobody::[63829] |
| dt0110nd9.san.rr.com |
Cyn. Just so you know, this should be across the board 10s!
...but im not a rater :O...
you still own. :D
i gave you another comment :D
ciao!
Nobo |
| #42 ^Nuitari^[63830] |
| 1Cust114.tnt1.nashua.nh.da.uu.net |
| oh my god that was F#$%in' funny! dude i am really surprised this didnt get straight 10's. everything about it, the sarcasmic humor never got boring. the name thing was great, so was the clan war page. excellent work man. |
| #43 ArchMage-Danny[63831] |
| h00a0cc41906d.ne.mediaone.net |
| This thing was so cool, that i feel unworthy. i do not deserve to read anything this funny. |
| #44 <font color="blue">AMD-SUX</font>[63833] |
| spc-isp-van-uas-28-16.sprint.ca |
who the fuck gave this report a 8???
this is an 9.9+++ report!!! |
#45  [63835] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-02-414.look.ca |
| God i didnt read it all, but u had some FUNNY shit in here, and u obviously worked hard on this....... 10 |
| #46 [63836] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-02-414.look.ca |
| actually im a bitch, 9 |
| #47 [63837] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-02-414.look.ca |
| Actually im owned, 5 people rated already :( |
| #48 MOOO![63842] |
| proxy3.rdc1.ab.wave.home.com |
| lmao... the whole thing kicked ass and was damn funny! |
#49  [63854] |
|
| Looks like I'm the odd man out with the 8. It was really a cool idea, and I read all the stuff, but I rated it a little low cuz most of the stuff was off site, and I found it a little disjointed.... |
| #50 Dead_Dragon[63873] |
| user-2inikda.dialup.mindspring.com |
| Whoa. Just...whoa. |
| #51 CynicalMagician[63877] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
| You don't have to apologize for not rating it as high as others M4 (but you can change it if you want >) ). 1 question though, why is it bad that it's off site? |
| #52 British[FTL][63945] |
| 204.245.4.140 |
Heh.. I especially liked the bit about skaterz...
|
| #53 [63957] |
| as530054.infocom.com |
Just to play devil's advocate here...
Most of my Interactive BR was off site... ;-)
Dref |
| #54 [63958] |
| as530054.infocom.com |
I'm sorry Mark<i>!</i> Please don't change my rating now<i>!!</i> ;-)
Dref |
| #55 livingexception[63960] |
| spider-wj021.proxy.aol.com |
/me bows down and worhsips Cyncical<P>OMG dude this is some of the best shit I've seen here in forever. Even though this was not a BR BR, it still kicks some serious ass. Screw the 9.2, fix this so it's a perfect 10 some admin please!
BTW if you looked I was a random extra in the chat logs (at last I'm ina a killer report)!
LE |
| #56 [SLF]Harlequin[63972] |
| a-66-205-biz2.mts.net |
| this, is good shit, seriously, quality rarely seen in the field of online comedy congrats to you, btw canada ownz and if quebec seperates theyll just do something stupid like declare war on the us and get themselves all killed and we can laugh at em muahahahahahahaha. im from maitoba btw, and i assume u know where it is, cuz ure canadian, i get sick of explaining to to americans, no offense americans ure cool, its just that u dont know anything about canada, which is fair cuz if i was from the us i woudnt carewtf a "canada" was anyway so i dont blame u but for the record MANITOBA IS IN THE MIDDLE OF CANADA, RIGHT ABOVE NORTH DAKOTA now dont ask me again, please. btw if u dislike seperatists(dont we all?) i think i can get a tape of some seperatist protesters getting beaten by anglo riot cops from my social studies teacher and maybe make a realtime movie out of it and send it too you, its really funny.( actually i disapprove of police beating but i couldnt stop the laughter) anyway i like quebec ppl cuz theyre cool, and a lot of em are good at starcraft i just dont like the seperatists thats all, btw gatineau is a really small town , i been there, really, plz believe me. o.k im ranting now. im gonna go make a name like DeathRider69_182 and backstab some bghers now, cya l8r |
| #57 [SLF]Harlequin[63973] |
| a-66-205-biz2.mts.net |
OMG I DIDNT PUT A SINGLE PERIOD IN ANY OF THAT, I AM THE LORD OF RUN-ON SENTENCES BOW DOWN BE4 ME
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
no more coke 4 me @ midnite
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala |
| #58 BW-sux[64019] |
| spider-tp082.proxy.aol.com |
Ummm... WTF and ROFL?!?!?
10
BW-sux |
| #59 [64025] |
|
| I guess I just dislike off site stuff cuz I've had to delete about fifty "reports" where all they put was "I have this really great report, click on this link to go read it." Which sucks imho. |
| #60 MasterOfMordor[64060] |
| cacheengine1.mosquitonet.com |
I'm not even gonna ask why you have a half naked (I HOPE it's a half naked) fat guy on the top left of your banner. I am now sueing you for emotional damage.
I am thinking of a rating. First, add 25 to the rating. Then divide by 7. Finally add 15. You get 20. What is my rating? (Practicing for school.)
--MasterOfMordor |
| #61 CynicalMagician[64063] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
| MasterOfMordor - that's a guy from the 404 error page at somethingawful.com. I had to include him for some reason. The other people in that picture are from either www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com or a picture of slings, his GF and his brother. He's in good company. |
| #62 MasterOfMordor[64077] |
| cacheengine1.mosquitonet.com |
I said "I'm not even going to ask." Do you think I want to KNOW where that picture came from?!
Now I get to sue you again for furthar damage to my highly sensitive emotional side. (I'm in the money!) I knew you were useful for something CM.
hehe, j/k.
--MasterOfMordor
SPOILER ALERT!: the original rating (see my first post) is 10! Wow, it was that funny... |
| #63 Eriador[64100] |
| port4.msx12-tro.ppp.cybercity.no |
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg.
this is seriously the by far most funny (and disturbing) thing ive ever read on this page. who the fuck cares if it wasnt a BR?
gah..
fu "people who didnt give 10"
eri |
| #64 ....(variable[64175] |
| 207.229.0.241 |
"downright chubby..." -me
"tabernac!" -french guy |
| #65 phoenix[LoD][64228] |
| d185fd179.rochester.rr.com |
Cynical,
I believe you have lived up to your name in this fantastic production. Truly a very well done "report." The graphics and little animations were absolutely hilarious. After a good half-hour of non-stop laughter, my face hurts, my sides hurt, and I am totally incapable of comprehending the twisted depths of your imagination. Not only were your comments about clans, maturity levels of the average bnet'er, intelligence levels of the average bnet'er, etc. very funny, but they grabbed the truth with both hands and beat it until it confessed. To sum up all of your hard work (please tell me that producing this massive piece of work was difficult) I will say that it is probably the funniest written collection I've ever seen on this page, or anywhere. If I was one of the guys on the staff of this page, I would instantly award you with a perfect 10 and demand that those who did not be forced to wear sackcloth or something. Oh wow... don't stop, man, don't stop making these hilarious productions, because I can't wait to see what your sub-subconcious will drag up into a sick joke next. True humor, extra-strength.
-Phoenix |
| #66 Eriador[97136] |
| spock.ti.telenor.net |
this is the first "br" on this site *ever* which I read two times.
:{ |
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