| #1 wangsonn[54141] |
| acs00gsp.gsp.bellsouth.net |
WOOOHOOOOOOO first. Sorry too long to read. :)
|
| #2 T_Mac[54142] |
| on-tor-blr-a58-02-1278.look.ca |
| Im not a fan of sc fiction, but paragraphs woulda helped, didnt read, sorry |
| #3 i hate fan fiction =/[54147] |
| 64.208.113.249 |
.
.
. |
| #4 Spuzz[54154] |
| jfsn-01-234.dialup.netins.net |
Nooo! Sanchez <i>died</i>? NOO DAMMIT!
Another well written story, Belt. Your word flow is awesome. I had no problem visualizing the story and you paint an awesome battlefield. It gets so tense when the Terrans are approaching the Hive...your detailed description of Broodlings, Infested Terrans, etc., really mkae it creepy...great stuff. I was soo nervous when the Command Center was being overflowed with ooze (hehe) :D :D
There were a few things that I think you could work on...for one, more paragraphs, dammit! If you could use some basic HTML it would really help...I think it is a real shame that a lot of poeple don't read Fan Fics because the lack of paragraphs make it too difficult. The sudden swithing from the Terrans to the "Me" viewpoint was a bit coarse, too...
Oh yeah, one more thing...the conclusion kinda pissed me off. Did you get tired of typing so you decided to end it? I felt a bit gyped :(
All in all, though, an excellent story! It sucks ass that Sanchez got killed, though :( Oh well, maybe it was a different Sanchez??? Please???
Keep writing these awesome stories! I want to meet Hatch the psycopath, dammit!!
Spuzz |
| #5 AlienEater[54155] |
| dialups-690.palmer.mtaonline.net |
| me and t_mack are alike. we both hate sc fan ficion(y favorite is IceShadow =]) and didnt read the report. |
| #6 [54156] |
| dialups-690.palmer.mtaonline.net |
| damn thats supoed to be "My" |
| #7 [HK]SlipKnoT[54169] |
| bc-kam-a53-01-45.look.ca |
| Crappy crappity crap crap |
| #8 <marquee>Kung~Fu-Fightin</marquee>[54171] |
| cache02.syd.optusnet.com.au |
| If I read it, I'm sure it would be good. |
| #9 []D}-{03|/|1x-$-[54176] |
| r-174.123.alltel.net |
Learn HTML and use it, and use paragraphs more often, untill then I refuse to read this because the strain hurts my eyes.
|
| #10 SqueakyMonkey[54177] |
| osh1-7b9.twcny.rr.com |
Ok, I got through about half or it, but now I have to go to work, so I'll read the rest when I get home. It was very well written and very descriptive. I liked it a lot, and I don't usually read fan fiction (hell, I never read all of Phoenix Legion). Those who didn't read it are missing out on a good story (thus far).
Those who flamed it and didn't read it probably can't read to begin with, ignore them. They are stupid. Gotta run. |
| #11 =GDI=WaK[54179] |
| nic-160-c201-135.mw.mediaone.net |
| wtf was this? |
| #12 Dapp[54182] |
| users2.xorchicago.com |
| Use the <ENTER> Key please...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN! My eyes hurt....I need alcohol. |
| #13 Dapp[54183] |
| users2.xorchicago.com |
| Er...should be "ENTER" key...above...maybe I don't need alcohol. |
| #14 BW-sux[54186] |
| spider-wl022.proxy.aol.com |
A GENERAL COMMENT TO ALL PEOPLE THAT WRITE FANFICS ON THIS SITE:
Please read .Preator's fiction before you write your own.
1
BW-sux |
| #15 Spuzz[54189] |
| jfsn-02-105.dialup.netins.net |
BW-sux:
What was that for? <i>Did you even read this story?</i> I mean, come on man, why do you consider it a requirement for people to read .Preator's story? And how do you even know that Belt hasn't read it?
This was a good Fan Fic (and I usually don't even read Fan Fics). I see no need for Belt to study the Phoenix Chronicles like it's some sort of template or guide. He has his own style of writing and it is very engrossing. I hope he keeps writing like this (although more paragraphs would be nice :) ).
BW-sux, force yourself to read the <b>whole</b> thing. You're missing out on a great story :D
Spuzz |
| #16 shockwave[54217] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
Spuzz:
I read the whole thing, some parts were really cool, others needed some work or had glaring typos or random misformatted "!"'s. The reason people are critical is because TheBelt has been posting fanfic up the wazoo here recently -- it's generally fairly good quality, but he never uses any sort of formatting, and it makes his reports consistently near unreadable. I think it's reasonable to insist that someone who posts fiction regularly would use normal readability aids such as indention and paragraphs. If you gave this to my English prof, he'd put a big X on it and tell you to reformat it.
It just doesn't make any sense that someone would spend so much time writing a story, then not proofread through some of the glaring errors nor make it readable. It's almost as nonsense as working really hard to make a nice clay statue and then throwing it in the yard to get rained on. It's what makes some people wonder if he didn't just lift the stories from somewhere else and copy/paste them. I don't believe that at all, but it just strikes me as curious why he'd put in the 90% effort to write a story and then not do the final 10% to make it readable.
|
| #17 MourningWood[54259] |
| fw8.intuit.com |
| Good story. I only went back and read it after I saw Spuzz's comment. I WOULD NOT have read it if he hadn't commented, for the aforementioned formatting reasons. LEARN HTML!!! I bet around 90% of your potential audience is not even reading this because of your lack of formatting. |
#18  [54275] |
| as530025.infocom.com |
I think Shock's comment summed it up well.
At this point I won't rate it because I didn't finish it. Its not that the writing is horrible, its just that after awhile the words start to run together and the typos don't help.
Belt, You've got to take your audience into consideration here.
Cheers,
Dref |
| #19 shockwave[54276] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
| Dref - not to beat on a dead horse, but it just seems so weird... he writes a fairly nice story, and then he names it "a story", which almost has the intentional effect of encouraging people not to take it seriously. I just don't get it :-). |
| #20 [54284] |
| as530025.infocom.com |
Heh Shock, I think he just needs a better publisher... ;-)
Dref |
| #21 Spuzz[54285] |
| jfsn-02-59.dialup.netins.net |
Yeah, you guys are right about the format problems, typos, and other things. They are easily correctable and the story suffers from it. The situation is kind of aggravating, with Belt submitting a long story like this and not formatting it properly. But I <i>do</i> think the term "unreadable" is too harsh. I managed to finish it in one sitting, and I wanted more. When you look at the comment sections from Belt's other stories, he usually gets flamed to hell by people who didn't even read it, and I think that's a shame because they are good stories.
Belt, if you need help with HTML or formatting, let me know; I'd be happy to lend a hand.
Spuzz |
| #22 Prozac[54291] |
| ACA9BF02.ipt.aol.com |
| Damnit, do you really think im going to want to read all that shit, its a bunch of words. Pictures = good. Spaces = good. Pretty = fun to read. Ugly = sucks, boring, gay. |
| #23 The belt[54331] |
| p127.netwood.net |
| I read Praetor's story. They were much better than mine. I was a bit embarassed. |
| #24 Same belt[54332] |
| p127.netwood.net |
Spuzz, I would really appreciate it if you help me in HTML.
|
| #25 Spuzz[54336] |
| jfsn-02-109.dialup.netins.net |
Belt,
E-mail me at spuzz10@yahoo.com and we'll get started :D
Spuzz |
| #26 Crimson Kell Hound[54338] |
| 1Cust87.tnt10.lax3.da.uu.net |
| Nice story, The detailed descriptions were very good at letting my visualize just what was going on. And yes some paragraphs would be nice... But im sure you will fix those things in time. For you little piss ants that didnt read it and just gave some gay comment,i would say this |
| #27 "[54339] |
| 1Cust87.tnt10.lax3.da.uu.net |
| If you didnt read the story, WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK HAVE A RIGHT TO MAKE A COMMENT ON IT?! |
| #28 blah[54395] |
| 63.210.199.30 |
because out of the 7 stories he's submitted, he hasn't yet learned how to use <BR> tag
Sigh, man belt gets much more comments than me and my stories are formatted nicely. :-P
The story really is very difficult to read because of the lack of formatting. The little bit I read was decent. Not great but decent. |
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