| #1 hi[49649] |
| slip-32-101-120-6.il.us.prserv.net |
| hi |
| #2 Belt[49650] |
| p125.netwood.net |
As I said in the story, this shall be my last story for this month. I will compile more stories and present to you at the right time.
---------------Belt----------------- |
| #3 CynicalMagician[49653] |
| px1cl.gv.wave.shaw.ca |
Even though everyone else hates them, I don't mind your fan-fic. The descriptions are generally pretty good, and although the formatting isn't great (I'm assuming you cut and pasted from notepad), I don't think you're a bad writer. However, your style seems to become repetitive when you read the stories in a row, so I would avoid posting more than 1 a week.
-CynicalMagician |
| #4 DarKnight[49681] |
| NYCMA080-0317.splitrock.net |
| this is a great fan-fic. i don't mind fan-fic so much, in fact, i loved praetor's phoenix leagion. i've only read this one, but it seems great. keep the work going. |
| #5 <font color=yellow>Phoenix</font>[49700] |
| node156e4.a2000.nl |
I have a great suggestion =]
I'm getting tired of all that fanfic lately.
I guess there are like 7 out of 10 seem to be like this. The wordt part is that most of them are pretty bad.
Not only for bad format, bad spelling and being short, the story sucks too (most of the time that is).
Johnny or Mark4 or whomever, couldn't you implement a new BR catagory: Fanfic... |
| #6 <font color="669999">person</font>[49727] |
| 1Cust232.tnt8.lax1.da.uu.net |
<font color="669999"> You should post only one part of your story per week or longer. i like your series, but you have posted so many different stories in such a short period of time. if you post one part a week you will create suspense for those who like your stories. and you should use some html so have color text to more organize your story. like in the one with LT.Ray where you had the time and planet you could made that a different color so that your story is much more organized.
the part about the zealot jumping off the ultralisk and catching the mutalisk was very creative as with the story with the Goliath Raptors and Titans. i'm like your creativity you put in your story.
<i>!!Anyways keep up the good work!!</i>
<i>person</i> |
| #7 <font color="669999">person</font>[49730] |
| 1Cust232.tnt8.lax1.da.uu.net |
<i>by the way when different people start talking you are suppose to use different paragraghs
person</i> |
| #8 KoolManBloke[49771] |
| webcache-15.p.ps.ifl.net |
| Good story. enuf sed. |
| #9 shockwave[49807] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
I'm going to reiterate a lot of what other people have been saying so far, but I don't want that all to get lost in the criticism and such. I'm hoping that since you may recognize my name here, it'll carry a little more weight.
<OL>
<LI>It is true that a lot of folks are sick of fanfic stuff being posted here. The problem is that *many* people are posting halfhearted attempts at fiction, and those tend to drown out the actual battle reports or what not, and many of those are also poor and clearly lack the maturity of the fiction that first graced the site. Because of this, people will tend to a priori flame a person who posts fan fic whose handle they don't recognize.
You're a victim of that.
<LI>It is also true that people don't like to see multiple back to back submissions on *anything*, unless it is clearly exemplary. You posted 3 stories in a row with nothing inbetween, and people may feel that you're drawing unnecessary attention to yourself or are cluttering the site unnecessarily.
<LI>People really hate bad formatting. You need to format your stories a little, then people will take them more seriously. I was tempted to just skip past them when I noticed the wraparounds and such in the text, but I forced myself to read all three and was pleasantly surprised. If you take care in writing the story, you might as well spend a serious amount of time in formatting it and making sure your presentation is solid.
</OL>
Despite all of that, I really enjoyed reading your stories, and I look forward to seeing more. I did not find them boring at all, and I enjoyed the level of detail and clear writing. I hope that the story will develop so it's not just a 2on1, but I assume it will and I'm willing to wait to see what you do with this.
Finally, look at all the criticism in perspective. Some will come from people who haven't even read your work and are just flaming for the heck of it. Remember that you have absolutely no context about who is writing those comments -- it could be a colleague or it could be a 10-year-old kid who's just surfing the web. Take seriously any comments that have rationale and merit to them. Ignore comments that just say "THIS SUX!" since those can be explained away in any number of ways.
|
| #10 shockwave[49824] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
My goodness, I hadn't noticed that you had posted 8 times on the front page until a second ago (I usually blindly ignore the BRs that have less than a 7 rating). That is a little excessive, and I do understand now why people have been so antagonistic in their responses. Why didn't you post those as you completed each one? I'm sure it must have taken quite a while for you to write all of those.
|
| #11 -=~KaDaBrA~=-[49832] |
| dover-216-196-38-130.raex.com |
| I didn't even read the stories. I just think your a fag for posting 8 reports in like, 1 day. |
| #12 Bob-the-Zealot[49904] |
| spider-tl081.proxy.aol.com |
| Good fanfiction, (very descriptive, but the zealot jumping on a muta was a bit, I dunno, unrealistic) but my main reason for commenting isn't to comment on the story. Kadabra, shut up. You can't judge the quality of work by it's quantity. What if he wrote them a while ago and posted them all today? "I didn't even read the stories." That's a good way to get your opinion on his writing ignored. "I just think your a fag for posting 8 reports in like, one day." That "in like, one day." sounded lame, are you one of those people that like, talks like, like this? |
| #13 Requiem[50061] |
| spider-wo061.proxy.aol.com |
well well well...the plot thickens...i wanna see how it ends...it's good stuff man, just space it out.
-Requiem |
#14  [50070] |
| as530047.infocom.com |
I have absolutely no proof of this, but I get the feeling that all of these stories were copied and pasted from somewhere.
This was an excellent story and I am upset that you posted three parts back to back, but didn't finish the story.
Nevertheless, it is good reading and if the formatting was better and easier to read, I would give it an 8. But its not, so I'll give it a 7. I better not find out that you copied and pasted someone else's work onto this site though<i>!!</i>
Cheers,
Dref |
| #15 Belt-The Judge[50120] |
| p133.netwood.net |
| No. These are all mine. these are 2~3 years old. go ahead, research. these are mine. all mine! |
| #16 Belt-The Judge[50122] |
| p111.netwood.net |
This IS the end of the story. can't you figure out that the protoss and terran are going to drop a nuke on the zerg and win the battle????
|
| #17 Ramius[50152] |
| alproxy2.proxy.lucent.com |
pretty good story.
But I would like to support comment #5... there should be a section for fiction. There's a lot more fanfic than, say, AOK or Tiberian Sun... and I think many people would prefer them separated from the regular reports
|
| #18 shockwave[50177] |
| exchange1.sensable.com |
| That's the end? Eeks. In that case, I'd ask for a bit more creativity or a plot twist. You've just reported a very one-sided, 2on1 slaughter... It's fairly descriptive, but it also lacks a strong climax. Saying that nukes are readied isn't very conclusive. After all, the battle was already one-sided to begin with. |
| #19 Limp_Bizkit666[50303] |
| 206.117.45.150 |
hmmm... the reason dref think this is copy-pasted is cause of the spacing..
often times when you copy-paste the text from the web, it creates that nasty looking spaces... so i have to somewhat agree to dref, unless you have posted these at another website and copy-pasted from there..
oh well... still nice tho.
one suggestion.. before you submit, reread them one last time..
especially because your report was written so long ago, your writing styles might have changed, and you might even have learned more in literature. frankly, the descriptions were nice and all, but my only complaint was excess of commas. you used them too often and even in places you didn't need..
still, nice job.. only two or three spelling errors in the three series..
oh well
byeya
p.s-hmmm.. can you send me these as attachment through email?? i want to read them without the spacings. thanks.. email addy = tryingtotakeovertheworld@hotmail.com plz send them to me.. i would REALLY appreciate it.. |
| #20 Belt[50312] |
| p122.netwood.net |
| Sorry................, My e-mail doesn't work. |
| #21 Limp_Bizkit666[50347] |
| 199.182.54.144 |
what do you mean? do you mean your acconts are messed up, do you mean your comp is messed up that it can't send any messages, or do you mean you just don't want to???
i don't mind any answer of the above, i just want to know... i'm one curious pussy. =]
hehe
byeya
p.s-why belt? why not whip or something? =] |
| #22 Dampiere[50503] |
| ares.uwimona.edu.jm |
yo man,
please dont be discouraged by anyones comments. i write and am a trained teacher and i think your stuff is very encouraging for several reasons. your command of language and literary device is obvious and your talent is unquestionable. if you use this medium to practise, it is possible that you could actually earn a living just doing what you love, and really, isnt that what we all want?
i have been reading BRs only a few weeks and i find them enjoyable, well, some of them, others are obviously for entertainment at a level other than mine. your stuff is mature and contains evidence of detail, realism and imagination. please keep posting, as long as you enjoy doing it and there are folks who enjoy reading it. i wasnt going to say anything until i realised how many people have nothing good and much bad to say. i agree totally with the editorial on broodwar.com, which is what motivated me to write this. i am really enjoying the "Death from above" series and wonder what will happen next, the terran-protoss alliance is riveting. please dont stop writing, whatever else you do.
sincerely
Dampiere |
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