| #1 Barage (160.10.203.112)[15620] |
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First comment. At least I can get this somewhere :P
Very worth the read indeed, imo. For those that are new or need a refresher, do a search for 'Annie47' for the past chapters.
As for the breaks: I'm getting somewhat good at it, though I did miss a few. Is there any easy way to copy-paste text here without it ending more chopped up then a bronze br is unbroken? |
| #2 TheRubberDucky (dfiatx100-044.dsl.gtei.net)[15621] |
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I hate to say this, but this one didn't quite meet my expectations. Your writing seems to have decreased =[ OH well, perhaps I'm just percieving things because of the massive influx of tootsie rolls. I swear, they're a drug!!! (And they were the only things ppl were giving out =[ )
Isn't it refreshing to hear of a young lad that goes trick or treating at the age of 14?
Read what I did before doing that over at the forum in a few minutes, |
| #3 Annie47 (spider-th071.proxy.aol.com)[15624] |
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Hmph...
And I thought this was my better work! |
| #4 MasterOfMordor (cacheengine2.mosquitonet.com)[15627] |
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| Barage, did you post this? Whoever did (you or Annie) I've got a suggestion. Instead of using Microsoft Works, right click on your desktop, click new, and new word pad document. For some reason it doesn't skrew up the line text, and you wont have to go through and fix it :D. |
| #5 WilliamWC3 (huru27.wuh.wustl.edu)[15638] |
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| This story was great. Rubberducky you are a goofball and by the way get your bot out of channel Monkey. Barage don't use Microsoft works. It is the tool of Satan. Oh yeah, and fifth comment, I rule!!! |
| #6 Von Doom (194.218.16.3)[15640] |
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I dont know about this one, but the others was really good, and now i´m gonna print this and go get me a ham sandwich...
BTW Microsoft Works sucks really hard!!
Yuk! |
| #7 -=~KaDaBrA~=- (a200-18.tusc.kent.edu)[15662] |
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| Nice report Annie. Very well written and fun to red! Just remember to take pictures next time :P |
#8  (relay.atinc.com)[15722] |
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I couldn't read the whole thing right now... I am just too burnt out on doing so much at the site lately, my brain can't take a "thinking" story right now. What I read looked good. Alot of the lines and phrases seemed... I don't know... seductive? Not like... turn you on seductive, but just... soft writing? Hard to explain. It was a nice change in style from what I usually read.
I'll go back in, read, rate, and fix that one paragraph if someone doesn't get to it first... I'll read (whole thing) and rate it for sure later. |
| #9 Annie47 (spider-tr023.proxy.aol.com)[15729] |
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| Man i can't believe some people liked my others better, this one is much longer and opens a lot more of the plot up. Well I guess some people just like short stories =[ |
| #10 AnderKryst (edjproxy2.edwardjones.com)[15742] |
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I dunno...I liked this one better. It was kind of confusing, but then I snapped out of dumb mode and re-read the previous installments to refresh my memory. :)
This is good stuff, so keep up the good work. |
| #11 PirateXk (ip-209-23-4-45.modem.capital.net)[15790] |
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| Awesome story Annie!! =cD write another chapter and get to it!! NOW! oh and throw me a freakin bone sometime!! =c] |
| #12 (real.nauticom.net)[15815] |
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Damn those flame baddies!
Not even a Korean spouting reaver could stop them!!! |
| #13 (real.nauticom.net)[15816] |
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| er... couldn't... |
#14  (fjwilson.reshall.uc[15854] |
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I think you were right the first time, YRM.
Annie, I like your story alot, especially this last chapter. The length seemed about right, and I liked the rapid changes of perspective. |
| #15 Annie47 (spider-tr083.proxy.aol.com)[15883] |
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| Thanks Preator and YourRoleModel =] |
#16  [15911] |
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I liked it a lot. I got drawn into the story. 9 =]
I had to try out the brand spanking new comment deleter on "dawg". Power rush! hehhe =] |
| #17 Barage (160.10.203.112)[15955] |
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Myself I consider this chapter the best so far; I guess I'm a sucker for perspective shifts and hard fought battles.
Or perhaps it was because my name was used in the story ;)
I can see where YRM is getting at, btw, though I'm not sure how 'seductive' comes around to it (though I'm going to think twice before mindlessly morphing up archons again). I can't put my finger on it, but something about the style, or perhaps the words used, isn't easy to get lost in. By 'lost' I mean where you read a paragragh, then have to read it two more times just to figure out what was going on in it. You can read through and can quickly picture a pack of templar raising their hands to deliver their storms aginst the Solrain forces. Very easy to follow and get into the tale.
One question that has been bugging me, though, Annie. Are the protoss and telepathing their messages or is it more audible? Myself, I've seen the Protoss communicating only directly to the mind, but capible of listening to speach. However, it could also be possible for them to be simply forming up the words as well even without lips. What I'm wondering is how they are 'speaking' to each other now. This goes especialy for Cast, who could very well do both IIRC.
Sf. C. Barage: He who had nightmares of spell checks
|
| #18 Annie47 (spider-wi081.proxy.aol.com)[16022] |
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| I too noticed that the Protoss don't have lips and stuff, So yes they are talking with there minds, when cast was younger she talked with her mouth but now is part of the psionic link. Magicaly when she was younger, Cast learned english and the protosss perfectly understood it...ya thats it :D. Hehe |
| #19 (relay.atinc.com)[16482] |
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OK... the Solarins are allied with the Dark Templar, who are acting out on the conclave. The little girl from chapter one is like Prom Night Carrie. The Solarins are afraid of an artifact, and fought the zerg at the end for some reason... maybe artifact - psi emitter?
Solarins - some kind of sun/elemental species? I guess all these questions and more will be answered in part 4. |
| #20 Jedi_Girl (std182.dorms5.macalester.edu)[16668] |
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| AWESOME! WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| #21 (fjwilson.reshall.uc[17992] |
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| You know, Annie, I was thinking about one of your comments on a Phoenix Legion: Chronicles, referring to the goodly number of comments on the report. Well a consistent 20 isn't bad, especially for the first two chapters. Takes awhile to build up a fan base, but before you know it, TRD will be telling you TheRubberDucky<Annie. Of course, you might also get some high praise along with such spam. Keep writing if you like it. |
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